Smelly 'N' Sloppy.

A single engine light plane took off from the local country airport flying for about 10 kms when suddenly the single engine coughed and spluttered with thick black smoke pouring from it's exhuast then with a groan died. With effort the pilot tried to land the plane in a paddock next to a busy construction site but the planes propellor clipped a high barbed wire fence flipping over and landing upside down on a row of portable toilets totally demolishing them and scattering their smelly and sloppy contents all over the busy construction site.

On impact the planes windscreen popped out and landed a few feet away from the plane. Much to his disgust the pilot got covered in the contents of the portable toilets when the contents came splashing through the space where the windscreen had been. Smelling a bit ripe and lucky to alive the pilot walked away looking like a drowned rat and smelling like one to. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Anzac Day Service.

What a disgraceful decision made by the Victorian R.S.L. to drop God Save The Queen national anthem from the Anzac Day Service. It's insulting and disrespectful to the Australian war veteran's who fought under God Save The Queen national anthem and The Australian flag in world war 1 & 2. Whoever made this appalling decision should take a long hard look at themselves and reverse this decision.

Could this be a plot by the republican movement to have God Save The Queen national anthem dropped altogether from the Anzac Day Service because the minority of Australian's don't know the words. True blue Australian's already know the words, so the minority of Australian's who don't, get off your lazy bottoms and make the effort to learn the correct words and meaning. The Victorian R.S.L. should be ashamed and condemed for allowing this to happen. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Tiny Tale: Sloshed.

Because the day at work had been extremely busy and demanding with the phone ringing constantly, being harrassed and interupted by rude and unpleasant people, then to top it all off Lydia's computer suddenly crashed wiping out every e-mail Lydia had gathered together ready to send. That was the last straw for Lydia so she spat the dummy stormed off out the door of the office and headed for home.

Feeling knackered along the way she dropped into the local bottle shop, bought a bottle of vodka, continued on her way at the same time downing the fiery liquid straight from the bottle relishing it's burning sensation all the way down her throat then crashing into the pit of her empty stomach making her shake and shiver with delight almost passing out.

Eventually Lydia found herself outside her ground floor flat, staggered up three slippery steps to the front door, fumbled around in her bulging purse for the front door key. Finding it she inserted it in the front door lock turning to unlock the door at the same time as pushing it open only to fall flat on her face in the carpeted hallway, mumbling to herself she felt a bit sloshed. Gripping the front door knob using it as leverage she negotiated her way off the floor staggered down the hallway at the same time losing some clothes along the way until she was down to black bra and panties, stumbled into the lounge room landed on the futon still grasping the empty bottle of vodka.

Rising from the futon Lydia headed for the lounge room door leading out to a small court yard, struggling to open the sliding door she then tripped on the door runner fell down the steps landing on her hands and knees on the concrete floor. Rising off the floor Lydia banged her head on the clothes line winding handle staggered backwards landing face first on the nearest garden bed down and out for the count. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Baby Sacrificed In Black Magic Ritual.

Pakistani couple stabbed to death their innocent and defenseless three month old baby in a black magic ritual on the advice of the local witch doctor, who i think was not the full quid or was smoking something funny at the time. The witch doctor told the couple they would become rich by sacrificing there innocent and defenseless three month old baby. I don't believe in voodoo rubbish it should be banned.

After the black magic ritual was performed the baby was buried of all places in the backyard, without i imagine a decent funeral. No matter what country you live in or what religion you follow you're entitled to a decent funeral and not be discarded like a old dirty rag or something you scrape off the bottom of your shoe.

I imagine the couple were put under a spell or some type of mind control by the witch doctor to let this happen to their innocent and defenseless three month old baby as witch doctors are i believe, predators praying on the feeble and weak minds of naive people and should be held accountable for there actions like everyone else. How brutal and barbaric to think human sacrifice still exists in the world today ban it. Here's hoping i'm not cursed after this. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Remote Control Rage.

British man lobbed a t.v. remote control at his wife during a heated arguement over money. What else apart from money do couples argue about. Women think they have a god given right to have money even though they haven't earned it. The t.v. remote control struck his wife on a weak artery near her neck causing a massive brain haemorrhage from which she died.

The husband was charged with manslaughter and was deeply ashamed and remorseful, found guility, sentenced to three years jail. It was revealed during the trial that his wife suffered from a rare medical condition which neither of them knew about. The name of this rare medical condition wasn't revealed. Why was that?. Is something being hidden?.

All he did was lob the t.v. remote control, which women do to, at his wife. This was a million to one lob or just bad luck to strike her in the wrong spot on the neck. Maybe the husband should try out for the English cricket team as i believe they could do with some decent players.

Three years jail is a bit harsh considering he was remorseful and ashamed. This is nothing more than a freak accident. Could this happen again under the same circumstances, i don't think so. It would be a million to one lob to strike the same spot again as the first time was a fluke lob and couldn't possibly happen again.

The husband and wife didn't know about this rare "no name" medical condition, instead of a three jail sentence a fine, three year good behavior bond or community service work or all three combined would have been a better alternative in this case. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.