A Bonza Jest: Hair Spray.

Grandpa George and Grandson Geoff are tilling the backyard vegie patch, when out of one corner of his eye Grandson Geoff spots a fat earthworm attempting to wriggle back into its tiny hole.
Grandson Geoff says, I bet you twenty dollars that i can squeeze that fat earthworm right back in its tiny hole.
Grandpa George replies, I'll take that bet because there's no way you can squeeze that fat earthworm right back in its tiny hole its to wiggly and floppy.

Grandson Geoff skedaddles inside Grandpa George's house and reappears moments later with a can of Grandma's Hair Spray, kneels down and gives the fat earthworm a liberal dose of Hair Spray until its straight and stiff as a board he picks it up and squeezes that fat earthworm right back in its tiny hole. Grandpa George is gobsmacked hands over twenty dollars, grabs the can of Hair Spray, charges into the house like a bull in a china shop.

Once inside Grandpa George whips off his overalls, boots and boxer shorts, aims the can of Hair Spray at his shrivelled up willy and sprays away until its straight and stiff as a board, seizes Grandma Grace and gives her a seeing to on the cold kitchen floor.
Thirty minutes later Grandpa George wobbles out of the house with twenty dollars in his hand and gives it to Grandson Geoff who says, You've already paid me twenty dollars.
I know, this is from your Grandma Grace in appreciation and i'll tell ya this Hair Spray trick is out of this world and cheaper than viagra by a long shot.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.