Every now and then in our life we've all been Perched On The Dunny Pondering. For that reason here are a handfull of odds and ends to ponder over.
If you are a passenger on a non-stop flight, how do ya get off?.
Lots of people quit job hunting when they find work!.
If whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?.
When a person has no arms but has a gun, is that person armed?.
Why didn't Noah squash those two pesky mozzies?.
When you decamp from the dunny with your replies please don't forget to flush and wash ya hands.
Until next time jolly pondering.
(c) 2013. Windsmoke.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Random Humour For Grown Ups.
Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: Hammer, Hottest and Barefoot.
So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.
Q: Why can't Betty Blonde replace light bulbs?.
A: Because she keeps on breaking 'em with her Hammer!.
Q: What are the Hottest days of the week?.
A: Sundays!.
Sitting on deck chairs under the veranda watching the sun sink slowly over the horizon are Burt Blonde and Josh Juniper who says, the flies are thick as thieves around here today, don't ya ever shoo 'em away?.
Nope!, we just let 'em wander around Barefoot!. replies Burt.
Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.
Q: Why can't Betty Blonde replace light bulbs?.
A: Because she keeps on breaking 'em with her Hammer!.
Q: What are the Hottest days of the week?.
A: Sundays!.
Sitting on deck chairs under the veranda watching the sun sink slowly over the horizon are Burt Blonde and Josh Juniper who says, the flies are thick as thieves around here today, don't ya ever shoo 'em away?.
Nope!, we just let 'em wander around Barefoot!. replies Burt.
Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
True Blue Haiku: Cuddles.
Between alpine crowns
Resplendent moonlight Cuddles
Snow covered terrain.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Resplendent moonlight Cuddles
Snow covered terrain.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Lost In Translation.
All of these signs and bloopers are located in countries where English is a second language and in some instances in English speaking countries they are not much better.
Airport lounge sign reads: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar!.
Furrier sign reads: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin!.
Drycleaners sign reads: Drop your trousers here for best results!.
Hotel sign reads: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid!.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Airport lounge sign reads: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar!.
Furrier sign reads: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin!.
Drycleaners sign reads: Drop your trousers here for best results!.
Hotel sign reads: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid!.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Perched On The Dunny Pondering.
Every now and then in our life we've all been Perched On The Dunny Pondering. For that reason here are a handfull of odds and ends to ponder over.
Its against the law to drink and drive, so why do ya need a drivers licence to purchase grog?.
Do steam rollers really roll steam?.
Which will fall on the front lawn first?, A Autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?.
Why is it when ya haul ya merchandise by car its called a ship-ment, but when ya haul ya merchandise by ship its called car-go!.
Can you repeat the part after "Listen to this very carefully, i'm only going to say it once!.
When you decamp from the dunny with your replies please don't forget to flush and wash ya hands.
Until next time jolly pondering.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Its against the law to drink and drive, so why do ya need a drivers licence to purchase grog?.
Do steam rollers really roll steam?.
Which will fall on the front lawn first?, A Autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?.
Why is it when ya haul ya merchandise by car its called a ship-ment, but when ya haul ya merchandise by ship its called car-go!.
Can you repeat the part after "Listen to this very carefully, i'm only going to say it once!.
When you decamp from the dunny with your replies please don't forget to flush and wash ya hands.
Until next time jolly pondering.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
True Blue Haiku: Portrait.
Suspend loves Portrait
In your devout cathedral
To arouse your soul.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
In your devout cathedral
To arouse your soul.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Random Humour For Grown Ups.
Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: A Flea, Men and Mud Cakes.
So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.
Q: If you cross a rabbit with A Flea what do ya get?.
A: Bugs bunny!.
Q: Why don't Men wash clothes?.
A: Because there is no remote control for the washing machine!.
Ambling over to the walk in pantry and opening the louvre door is Ruby Redhead whose looking for the two Mud Cakes she bought yesterday only to discover there is only one left.
Furious Ruby storms out of the walk in pantry and into the master bedroom and asks Rusty Redhead whose still half asleep, why is there only one Mud Cake left?.
I guess its because it was so dark in there last night i didn't see the other one!.
Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.
Q: If you cross a rabbit with A Flea what do ya get?.
A: Bugs bunny!.
Q: Why don't Men wash clothes?.
A: Because there is no remote control for the washing machine!.
Ambling over to the walk in pantry and opening the louvre door is Ruby Redhead whose looking for the two Mud Cakes she bought yesterday only to discover there is only one left.
Furious Ruby storms out of the walk in pantry and into the master bedroom and asks Rusty Redhead whose still half asleep, why is there only one Mud Cake left?.
I guess its because it was so dark in there last night i didn't see the other one!.
Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Fun Ditties.
Mary had a little lamb
the doctors and nurses
were very surprised.
But when old mother
mc donald had a farm
they couldn't believe
their eyes!.
Little fly upon the wall
ain't ya got no nous at all.
This wall has just
been freshly painted
now ya stuck
ya silly blighter!.
Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black and charcol.
Everytime it wagged its tail
you could see its eyes roll about.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
the doctors and nurses
were very surprised.
But when old mother
mc donald had a farm
they couldn't believe
their eyes!.
Little fly upon the wall
ain't ya got no nous at all.
This wall has just
been freshly painted
now ya stuck
ya silly blighter!.
Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black and charcol.
Everytime it wagged its tail
you could see its eyes roll about.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
A Bonza Jest: Its Pouring Rain.
While her husband Paddy Purple is busting his gonads at work Pam Purple has been having a fling over the past few months with Daniel Dandelion who lives across the road. On one wet, lusty, horny day Pam and Daniel are in the master bedroom going at it hammer and tongs when out of the blue Pam hears Paddy pull up in the driveway and park the car in the double garage.
Stone the crows!, Paddy has come home very early today, quickly gather up ya street clothes and jump out the window, yells Pam.
No way i'm gunna jump out the window Its Pouring Rain, replies Daniel.
If you don't and we get caught in here together by Paddy he'll whack us for sure. Ya know he's got a violent temper and will use the loaded double barrel shotgun that's stashed away in the wardrobe without a second thought.
Scared of what could happen Daniel slowly opens the window tossess his street clothes out and follows 'em a few moments later. Landing on the lush front lawn and still in his birthday suit he grabs his street clothes tucks 'em under his arm and streaks along the wet footpath and runs smack bang in the middle of the Annual Contention Marathon. Quick as a flash he decides to join the marathon hoping to melt into the crowd of runners, which doesn't workout to well.
Breaking away from a small pack of runners is Tom who makes a bee-line for Daniel and asks, Do ya always run in ya birthday suit?.
Yep!, because there's nothing like a chilly breeze blowing over ya skin to invigourate ya senses, replies Daniel.
A few minutes later Dick breaks away from a different pack of runners, makes a bee-line for Daniel and asks, Why do ya carry ya street clothes tucked under ya arm?.
When i reach the finish line i can get changed right away, jump in my car and drive home.
Down the road a click or so, Harry wobbles over to Daniel casting his eyes toward Daniels crown jewels and asks, do ya usually wear a pink french letter when ya run in ya birthday suit?.
Only when Its Pouring Rain, replies Daniel who then veers off to the right and streaks down a side street in an effort to avoid anymore attention.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Stone the crows!, Paddy has come home very early today, quickly gather up ya street clothes and jump out the window, yells Pam.
No way i'm gunna jump out the window Its Pouring Rain, replies Daniel.
If you don't and we get caught in here together by Paddy he'll whack us for sure. Ya know he's got a violent temper and will use the loaded double barrel shotgun that's stashed away in the wardrobe without a second thought.
Scared of what could happen Daniel slowly opens the window tossess his street clothes out and follows 'em a few moments later. Landing on the lush front lawn and still in his birthday suit he grabs his street clothes tucks 'em under his arm and streaks along the wet footpath and runs smack bang in the middle of the Annual Contention Marathon. Quick as a flash he decides to join the marathon hoping to melt into the crowd of runners, which doesn't workout to well.
Breaking away from a small pack of runners is Tom who makes a bee-line for Daniel and asks, Do ya always run in ya birthday suit?.
Yep!, because there's nothing like a chilly breeze blowing over ya skin to invigourate ya senses, replies Daniel.
A few minutes later Dick breaks away from a different pack of runners, makes a bee-line for Daniel and asks, Why do ya carry ya street clothes tucked under ya arm?.
When i reach the finish line i can get changed right away, jump in my car and drive home.
Down the road a click or so, Harry wobbles over to Daniel casting his eyes toward Daniels crown jewels and asks, do ya usually wear a pink french letter when ya run in ya birthday suit?.
Only when Its Pouring Rain, replies Daniel who then veers off to the right and streaks down a side street in an effort to avoid anymore attention.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Perched On The Dunny Pondering.
Every now and then in our life we've all been Perched On The Dunny Pondering. For that reason here are a handfull of odds and ends to ponder over.
What do people in China call their best plates?.
Join the military, meet interesting people, then kill 'em!.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have!.
If i worked as hard as others, i would do as little as they do!.
How is it possible to be alone with someone?.
When you decamp from the dunny with you replies please don't forget to flush and wash ya hands!.
Until next time jolly pondering.
(C) 2013 Windsmoke.
What do people in China call their best plates?.
Join the military, meet interesting people, then kill 'em!.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have!.
If i worked as hard as others, i would do as little as they do!.
How is it possible to be alone with someone?.
When you decamp from the dunny with you replies please don't forget to flush and wash ya hands!.
Until next time jolly pondering.
(C) 2013 Windsmoke.
Saturday, January 05, 2013
True Blue Haiku: Glum.
Wan clouds cross the sky
Obscuring gay dangling moon
Turning night sky Glum.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Obscuring gay dangling moon
Turning night sky Glum.
(c) 2013 Windsmoke.
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Random Humour For Grown Ups.
Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: Thermometer, Ants and Busted Window.
So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.
Q: Why does Nurse Nadia always use a rectal Thermometer to take a patients temparture?.
A: Because she was taught at nursing school to always look for her patients better side!.
Q: Who loves hamburgers, french fries and Ants?.
A: Ronald Mac Aadvark!.
During the early hours of the misty morning a red house brick was hurled through the front window of the Contention Italian Restaurant busting the window into a million shards.
A few hours later Wilbur Waiter turns up for work and discovers the Busted Window, grabs his mobile phone and rings Gerald Glazier to come straight away and repair the Busted Window.
An hour later Gerald turns up and gives the Busted Window the once over from all angles.
How long will it take to repair?, asks Wilbur.
Crikey!, cobber its worse than i first thought, replies Gerald.
How can that be?.
Because the window is busted on both sides!.
Stunned Wilbur waddles off scratching his bald head and mumbling to himself.
Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.
So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.
Q: Why does Nurse Nadia always use a rectal Thermometer to take a patients temparture?.
A: Because she was taught at nursing school to always look for her patients better side!.
Q: Who loves hamburgers, french fries and Ants?.
A: Ronald Mac Aadvark!.
During the early hours of the misty morning a red house brick was hurled through the front window of the Contention Italian Restaurant busting the window into a million shards.
A few hours later Wilbur Waiter turns up for work and discovers the Busted Window, grabs his mobile phone and rings Gerald Glazier to come straight away and repair the Busted Window.
An hour later Gerald turns up and gives the Busted Window the once over from all angles.
How long will it take to repair?, asks Wilbur.
Crikey!, cobber its worse than i first thought, replies Gerald.
How can that be?.
Because the window is busted on both sides!.
Stunned Wilbur waddles off scratching his bald head and mumbling to himself.
Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.
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