Tiny Tale: Strangers.

Riding down the main st of the almost deserted town in the middle of god knows where, two strangers Gavin and Colin pulled up out front of the Barbers shop, dismounted and tied there thirsty and tired horses to the hitching rail at the same time taking a gander up and down the dusty main st to get an idea of the quickest escape route out of town. Gavin entered the Barbers shop but when he pushed open the front door it set off a bell fixed alongside that alerts the Barber a customer has arrived. With Colin bringing up the rear Gavin drew his revolver and jammed it into the obese belly of the Barber while Colin tied his hands behind his back and covered his mouth with a dirty old piece of rag then dumped him out the back in a locked store room.

While locking him up the door bell chimed alerting Gavin and Colin that a customer had turned up for a dad and dave. Sprinting to the front of the shop Gavin grabbed the cut throat razor out of it's glass container and pressed it against the customers throat demanding cash and valuables but he refused so Gavin slid the cut throat razor across the frightened customers throat from ear to ear. Falling to the floor blood oozing from the fatal wound Gavin and Colin searched through his pockets only finding a small amount of change then dumped him out the back with the Barber.

As before the door bell chimed again so Gavin and Colin ran back to the front of the shop and were surpried to see a customer already sitting in the chair ready for a dad and dave. Colin went outside and sat down on the wooden seat with his back to the large dust covered window.

Unbeknown to Gavin and Colin the customer sitting in the chair is the towns Sheriff with his revolver drawn underneath the protective sheet covering him. Gavin again grabbed the cut throat razor and pressed against the Sheriffs throat demanding he hand over cash and valuables but instead was plugged in the shoulder then the Sheriff swivelled around in the chair and plugged Colin in the shoulder through the dust covered window.

After the gunsmoke had cleared and being built like a brick outhouse the Sheriff easliy lifted Gavin and Colin onto his shoulders, strolled across to the jailhouse and locked 'em behind bars ending there reign of terror once and for all. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Dope Attack.

A drug dealer answered a knock at the front door of his unit and was attacked by two masked men. After a few minutes he recovered and rang the police to report a violent home invasion. When police arrived to investigate they found $10,000 worth of illegal drugs stashed in the unit. You'd have to be sampling your own product to do something so stupid to ring the police and not get rid of the evidence.

Making matters worse the police found $9,000 in cash, 10 kgs of cannabis, 100 esctasy tablets and a money counting machine. This violent home invasion was set up by someone who's been ripped off like a customer or supplier. He should have though it through before calling the police. It's his own stupid fault he got caught and ended up in jail, what a dopey scumbag. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Tiny Tale: Rubies.

Sitting on the park bench across the road from the jewellerys shop that Miles was staking out on this cloudless bright sunny day. With a pair of binoculars raised to his eyes spying directly through the display window which didn't have security glass or any other security devices, only plain ordinary glass. Behind the glass are five blood red rubies, four the size of small marbles and the largest one the size of a chickens egg collectively they'd be worth $100.000 give or take a few hundred dollars.

Shoppers were few and far between on the ground today, so Miles placed the pair of binoculars in his backpack, took out a club hammer strolled across the road dodging traffic, mounted the footpath stopped in front of the window, smashed it to pieces, scooped up the five blood red rubies dropped them into a small side pocket of his backpack. At break neck speed Miles took off down the footpath heading for his apartment.

Finding his front door keys Miles opened the door then headed straight for the kitchen where on top of the bench lay a large bag containing tennis rackets sitting by it's lonesome was a fake tennis racket made of plastic much bigger than the other ones because the fake tennis racket has a hollow handle so the five blood red rubies would fit snuggly inside. Stuffing the five blood red rubies inside the handle sealing up the opening with a bung then threw it inside the bag mixing it up with the other tennis rackets, zipped it up then stashed the bag inside the main bedrooms built-in-wardrobe throwing other bags on top until a suitable buyer could be found. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

To Shave Or Not To Shave That Is The Question?.

Dozens of clean shaven men in their twenties mostly students were arrested and jailed for shaving off their beards in violation of a decree made by the local terrorist group leader ordering and demanding all men grow beards.
Sounds to me the decree was drawn up by a group immature school yard bully boys who made it up on the run to suit their hidden agenda at the expense of other people regardless of whether they like it or not or have any adverse medical reaction.

As punishment for shaving off their beards the students were jailed for three days for violating this unfair and stupid decree made by the local terrorist group leader, who's also pledged allegiance to the world's most wanted and well known terrorist leader by imposing this strict unfair and stupid decree.
Pledging allegiance to the world's most wanted and well known terrorist leader is crazy. For hundreds of years the beard whether real or fake has been used as a disguise by unstable people wanting to carry out not so nice activities around the world, it's not only untidy if not looked after, but one thing it's good for is straining soup. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Tiny Tale: Hall.

Standing all by it's lonesome looking weather beaten, sad and lonely at the bottom of a steep hill, parallel to the hairpin bend in the road that continued on towards a small village. In it's heyday the hall was a hive of activity serving as a scout and community hall sadly over the years it was left to rot. All utilities were disconnected, the corrigated iron roof, guttering and downpipes were rusting away badly leaking and blocked by leaves and small branches. The weatherboards were twisted, split, warped and rotten some falling to the ground. The paintwork is blistered, peeling and fading so badly that you couldn't see what colour the paint was. Every door was damaged and every window was smashed and glass scattered all around crunching under foot. The interior looked like a bomb had been set off because every single fixture, furnishing and floor covering in the kitchen, dining room, canteen, bathroom and toilet were vandalized or stolen and obscence graffiti covered every surface. It's a real mess.

Two young people from the small village came jogging up the road, stopped outside the hall, walked down the narrow uneven path to the front door had a captain cook inside the said to each other, "what a mess and both vowed on the spot to renovate the hall to it's original glory and be used again as a community centre".

Twelve months later after a lot of hard work replacing the rusted corrigated iron roof, guttering, downpipes, rotten weatherboards, smashed windows, damaged doors and given a fresh coat of paint on the outside it looked brand new again. Shiny new fixtures, furnishings and floor coverings were installed in the kitchen, toilet, bathroom, dinning room, canteen and given a fresh coat of paint to cover the obscence graffiti the inside looked brand new to. All was now ready for the grand opening in a few days time.

The night before the grand opening a fully loaded fuel tanker lost control on this windy rainy night on the way down the slippery steep hill, jackknifed slid along on it's side through the hairpin bend showering sparks and debris in every direction. With a groan the prime mover broke free from the fully loaded fuel tanker that was spraying fuel like a fountain on the road and surrounding paddocks from a hole punctered in it by a large tree branch. Ignited by the sparks the fuel tanker caught fire and exploded in a ball of flame and thick smoke just before smashing headlong into the newly renovated hall burning it to the ground. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Under The Weather.

This woman got so drunk she slipped on the wet tiled floor while trying to exit the toilet cubicle and got her leg and shoe with a 6 inch stiletto heel stuck in the floor level toilet's small opening right up to the knee, even twisting and turning her body didn't help she was stuck fast.

With one leg stuck up to the knee and the other leg stretched out in front of her, what makes matters worst is she was only wearing a white mirco mini skirt that rose above the hips and didn't cover her modesty completely if at all but exposed more than she would have liked.

When the emergency services arrived they gave her a blanket to help cover her modesty for as long as it takes to release her leg by dismantling the plumbing underneath the toilet cubicle, taking off her shoe with the 6 inch stiletto heel then pushing her leg through the opening. With her head held high she exited the toilet cubicle with her modesty still partly intact vowing never again to go on a drinking binge. I hope she's really learnt her lesson. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

You Can Conquer Being Overweight Or Obese.

Are you one of those people who are overweight or obese?. You probably suffer from high blood pressure, cholestrol and diabetes if so shame on you are you that lazy you can't excerise. Guess what try turning off your computer, dvd player, tv, video game console. Now that you've done that get your big fat lard bum and wobbly jelly belly off the couch you potato head and go outside for a walk for 30 minutes a day around your local neighbourhood for 5 days a week, yes that's all it takes. So now you ask what time of the day should i go for a walk and which days, are you that lazy or brain dead to work it out for yourself it's not rocket science you know, so off you go now the sooner the better and remember no pain no gain.

So you've started walking your big fat lard bum and wobbly jelly belly around your local neighbourhood but haven't succeded in losing any weight, it dosen't surprise me at all. Do you know why?. I'll tell you why. It's because you are still eating junk, take away or processed foods high in saturated fat salt and sugar you won't lose any weight eating that rubbish. So what are you going to do about it?. You don't know take a wild guess or are you still that lazy or brain dead to work it out for yourself it's not rocket science you know potato head. I guess i'll have to tell you. It's time to change your diet by refusing to eat anymore food like junk, takeaway and processed foods and combined with walking you should reduce your big fat lard bum and wobbly jelly belly in no time. Don't forget no pain no gain is the name of the game.

So what are going to eat now you ask?. Still haven't got a clue have you potato head. I guess i'll have to tell you. Health professionals recommend you stick to a diet low in saturated fats, salt and sugar. Eat more fish, fresh fruit, vegetables, drink water, use skim milk in tea or coffee. If you are still not sure see your doctor maybe he or she will be able drum it into your thick potato head. How do i know about this it's because i've been there and done the hard yards and went thru the pain so if i can do it what's stopping you potato head. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.

Tiny Tale: Pawnbroker.

Pushing open the front door of the pawnbrokers shop with steel security grille screwed to it to prevent the window from being broken and stock stolen. Eva entered and was assualted by a musty, dank odour. Peering around the shop with shelves stacked to overflowing with nic nac's, books, plates, cups and other assorted stock which was not to her taste. The reason for the visit was to pawn off a ring she found on one of the window sills of the pub she cleaned.

Heading for the counter with iron security bars fixed from floor to ceiling and a slot cut out at counter top height so stock could be passed through to the pawnbroker. Fumbling in her bulging purse for the ring finding it she passed it through the slot to the pawnbroker who was short and stocky nearly bald and could have done with a shower and shave the smell was overpowering. With eye piece in place ready to examine the ring but he wasn't impressed with what he saw only offering $20.00, passed it back and being such a small amount Eva said she would have to think on it.

A week later Eva decided to accept the small amount offered by the pawnbroker and headed off down the street towards the pawnbrokers shop. When she arrived to her horror the shop had been guttered by fire, not much was left standing only blackened brick walls, some burnt timber frames, bricks, roof tiles and stock scattered around in all directions. Disappointed she strolled back home placed the ring in a small wooden jewellery box which sat on her dressing table in the bedroom. (c) 2010 Windsmoke.