Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: Tails, War and A Light Bulb.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: Why do dogs wag their Tails?.
A: Because no one else will do it for them!.

Q: How does a octopus go to War?.
A: Well armed!.

Q: How many members of a political party does it take to change A Light Bulb?.
A: A spokesperson said, we are not at liberty to comment on exact numbers at this time!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Enchanted Wonderland.

I'm a little bit weary.
Feeling kinda fuzzy
need to rest my
bloodshot, bleary eyes.
When i go into my
deep slumber
i dream of an
Enchanted Wonderland.

In my dream i'm
strolling along a
chocolate block path
surrounded by
licorice twist trees.
A carpet of fairy
floss lawn.
Bushes of swirling
rainbow lollipops
on a stick.
Giant pock-marked
gobstopper rocks.
Pint-sized pearly
stones spread
all around.

I raise my head
toward the skies
and spot to my
delight and bliss
a egg yoke sun
shining through
marshmallow clouds.
Hordes of chattering
purple baby dragons
gliding across
blueberry skies.
Hanging faintly
on the horizon a
tinged and elegant
banana moon
smiling at me.

At the end of the
chocolate block path
i gaze in wonder at
the gingerbread
house before me.
Up the cobbled jelly
bean path i stroll,
peek through the open
window and behold
gingerbread dwarves.
A fairy godmother with
delicate icing sugar wings.
A wizard grasping a
pretzel wand.
Children playing
games with glee
i think this a place
i wanna be for all
lifes eternity.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 0109: Ocean.

Hypnotic swells reel.
Onto seductive sand dunes.
From stellar Ocean.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: Two Fingers, Milk, And The Vegetable?.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: How does a bogan call his dog?.
A: He puts Two Fingers in his mouth and shouts here fella!.

Q: How did Burt Blonde injury himself drinking Milk?.
A: The cow fell on him!.

Its Dean and Deanna Diners 20th wedding anniversary and they are celebrating this milestone at the Contention Hotel with a quiet counter meal together when Deanna asks, what's on special today?.
There is chicken parmagiana or grilled whiting, replies Wilbur Waiter.
I'll have the chicken parmagiana.
And The Vegetable?.
Oh!, he'll have the grilled whiting!.

Until Next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

A Bonza Jest: Obsessively Materialistic.

Driving down the clogged street in his brand spanking new Lexus is Jack Juniper whose a very successful bank manager and is on his way to show off his pride and joy to his work colleagues.

Parking outside the Bank Of Contention Jacks opens the drivers side door and is collected by a fully loaded 10 tonne lorry which rips the door clean off sending it skittling along the street scape. Straight away Jack grabs his mobile phone and speed dials the emergency services.

Within minutes Senior Constable Lucy Lavender turns up in her unmarked police car. Before Lucy can ask Jack any questions, Jack starts to snivel and says, will ya look at my gorgeous brand spanking new Lexus i just picked today, its a write off, it'll never ever be the same again no matter what the panel beaters do to repair it.

Flabbergasted by Jacks outburst Lucy says, Crikey!, I can't believe how Obsessively Materialistic you people can be, your so focused on material possessions you fail to see the bigger picture.
What do you mean by that remark?.
Don't you realise your right arm has been severed below the elbow, must've been severed when that 10 tonne lorry collected you.
Stone the crows!, where's my $15,000 gold rolex watch gotten to?.
Blimey!, why were you wearing your gold rolex watch on your right arm instead of you left?.
So i could dangle my right arm out the window to show it off to everyone.
Yep!, that figures.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 0108: Tundra.

Penguins vacillate.
Across the icy Tundra.
Seeking tasty snacks.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: A Knocker, Sniffs and A Knock, Knock.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: Why did the scientist install A Knocker on her door?.
A: So she could win the no-bell prize!.

Q: What is a bud hound?.
A: A breed of dog that Sniffs out new flowers!.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?.
Aardvark.
Aardvark who?.
Aardvark a million miles for you!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Crestfallen.

On a dark and stormy night
the wind roared
the rain poured
thunder rumbled
lightning flashed.
Water dashed
passed a Crestfallen
middle aged man
who was soaked
to the skin, tired
and worn out.

His body tormented
his mind riddled with
nightmarish visions
of death and
destruction on
the desolate
battlefields of
a brutal Iraq.

In his anguish he
took refuge from
the stormy night
and his nightmarish
visions in a copious
drain pipe, where
he laid his head
down and slept
the sleep of
the dead.

It was in that
copious drain pipe
he was swamped
by torrents of
gushing water.
Its where he expired.
Verdict was he suicided.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.