Wednesday, October 31, 2012

True Blue Haiku: Brook.

Graceful bubbling Brook.
Where tumbling water races.
Over cool dark rocks.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Fun Ditties.

The elephant is a petite bird
It flies from bough to bough
Nests in a tall sturdy gum tree
And moos like an old cow.

Mary had a little lamb
You've heard it all before
But did ya know that
Mary passed her dinner plate
And had a tiny bit more.

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes the peas
Taste kinda funny
But it keeps 'em
on the knife.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

True Blue Haiku: Currents.

Birds glide through the sky
On placid thermal Currents
Feathered wings unfurled.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Random Humour For Growns Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: T-L-C, A Can Opener and Same Birthday.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: What does it mean when you come home to a man who gives you plenty of T-L-C?.
A: You are probably in the wrong house!.

Q: Why was the black knight running around asking for a Can Opener?.
A: Because he had an angry wasp in his suit of armour!.

Larry Lavender's girlfriend Emma Eagle and his father Lou Lavender share the Same Birthday, thirty years apart.

For Emma Larry bought her a bottle of very expensive french perfume and his father Lou a glock pistol.

After wrapping both presents Larry wrote on one birthday card "Use this all over yourself and think of me" then stuck it on his fathers present!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

True Blue Haiku: Goodbye.

Each day of sorrow
Bears me closer to Goodbye
I'll lay down and die.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

A Bonza Jest: Proxy Father.

Unable to conceive and after much debate Paddy and Pam Purple decide to use a Proxy Father to start a family because Paddy is shooting blanks. On the day the Proxy Father is due to turn up Paddy kisses Pam and says i'm off to work the Proxy Father should be here shortly.
Yes he will be isn't it exciting, replies Pam.

Fifteen minutes later Phil Photographer from the Contention Photographic Studio whose a door to door baby photographer rings the door bell hoping to make a sale. Pam decamps from the couch to answer the door.

G' Day, would you be the lady of the house?, asks Phil.
Yes i am, replies Pam.
You don't know me but i've come to..........
There is no need to explain i've been waiting for you.
Really!, well good, i've made babies my speciality for many years.
That is what my husband Paddy and i are banking on, please come in and pull up a chair, ok so where abouts do we start?.

I suggest we start with two in the bathroom, one on the couch, a couple on the bed and on the lounge room floor where you can really spread yourself out.
I'd really like to get this over and done with as quickly as possible.
A man in my line of work must try several positions and take his time, ideally i'd like to be in and out in five minutes but i reckon you'd be saddened with that.
Ya not wrong at all.

Opening his briefcase Phil pulls out a portfolio of his recent baby photos and says, this one was taken on top of a double decker tourist bus in the middle of Contention City as you can see the twins turned out really well considering their mum was very awkward to work with, handing Pam the photo.

Crikey!, awkward to work with you say.
Yep!, that she was, i finally had to take her to the Contention Botanical Gardens to get the job done right come to think about it, it was a real nightmare with people crowding around gawping.
How long did it last for?.

I'd say at least three hours or more because the mum was constantly squealing, yelling and moaning i could hardly concentrate on the job to top it all off darkness started to descend so i had to rush to finish it. But the last straw was when possums started to nibble on my equipnment so then i knew it was time to pack it in for the day.

Strewth!, the possums actually nibbled on your er...., um...., ah...., equipnment!.
Yep, absolutely. If you are ready now i'll amble out to my van and grab my tripod and set up in the bathroom.
Why do ya need a tripod?.
I've always used a tripod to rest my Canon on because its too big for me to hold while i'm preparing myself for action!.
Gobsmacked Pam faints on the couch with Phil trying in vain to revive her.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.   

Thursday, October 11, 2012

True Blue Haiku: Candle.

Starlight radiates
Like a fervid Candle flame
Across the cosmos.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: A Fisherman, Sheets and Breathing.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: How does a Fisherman take home his catch?.
A: In a eel-barrow!.

Q: What did Gertrude Ghost tell her son Gary Ghost before he went out to play?.
A: Don't get ya sheets wet!.

Doctor, doctor i'm having a bit of trouble with my Breathing, what can be done about it?.
I'll prescribe some medication that'll put a stop to that!, replies Doctor Derek.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Perched On The Dunny Pondering.

Every now and then in our life we've all been Perched On The Dunny Pondering. For that reason here are a handfull of odds and ends to ponder over.

Who says nothing is impossible, countless folk achieve it everyday!.

Is killing time a crime?.

Should a word be misspelled in a dictionary, how would ya know?.

Why do ya need to use sterilised needles for a lethal injection?.

If you're in the underworld and berko at someone, where do you tell them to go?.

When you decamp from the dunny with your replies please don't forget to flush and wash ya hands.

Until next time jolly pondering.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.