Saturday, December 01, 2012

Autopsy.

Its Friday afternoon at the Contention Medical College when the bell sounds for the end of last period. Excitedly the medical students start packing away their books and laptops when their teacher Dr. Terry Trumpet says, ok class before you home for the weekend, first thing Monday morning you'll be conducting your first ever Autopsy, now off ya go and enjoy ya weekend.

Without a second thought the medical students pile out of the classroom, some go their individual ways, others in groups. After tidying up his cluttered desk Dr. Trumpet closes and locks the classroom door, ambles down the crowded corridor packed with students, through the main doors out into the car park, jumps into his brand new 4WD, fires up the engine and crawls through the packed car park and out onto the congested road.

At the end of the road the traffic lights wink green so he continues on until he reaches the halfway point of the intersection where a bus running a red light cleans him up sending him skating on four wheels across the intersection, slamming side on into a large sturdy gum tree where he passes away from his injuries.

In the classroom Monday morning the medical students are gathered eagerly waiting for their class to begin when Dr. Tony Trumpet enters and says, i'll be your teacher for the rest of the year in place of my brother who passed away from his injuries in a car accident last Friday afternoon. I believe my brother was to instruct you all on how to perform an Auotspy. Would Stan and Sally please go to the walk in freezer and return with a cadaver so we can make a start.

Decamping from their stools Sally and Stan amble through the large swing doors, along the brightly lit corridor, enter the walk in freezer and grab the first trolley they come to and return to the classroom, coming to a halt beside the nearest examination table where the cadaver is lifted off and gently placed on the table.
Gather round everyone so we can make a start, says Dr. Trumpet who then grabs one corner of the crisp white sheet covering the cadaver and flings it off only to discover to everyones shock and horror that the cadaver lying on the table is none other than the medical students former teacher and Dr. Trumpets later brother Terry.

A few moments go by when two students faint on the spot, three others race over and spew into the nearest sink, everyone else stands around gawping in disbelief like stunned mullets. Quick as a flash Dr. Trumpet snaffles up the discarded sheet and covers his brother cadaver. After everyone has picked themselves up off the floor and finished spewing in the sink Dr. Trumpet says, i reckon we'll call it a day and start a fresh first thing tomorrow.

This incident actually happened in Europe. The real parts are the medical students and their teachers cadaver. Once again my Bizarre mind went into overdrive adding bits and pieces like the car accident, Dr. Tony & Terry Trumpet and the students reaction. How would you feel if this incident happened to you?.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.      

20 comments:

Cloudia said...

strange! I once came upon the grave of someone I didn't know had died.
Always a shock - LIVE!


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Kath Lockett said...

I'd have fainted.

Then, revived and been one of the students you depicted having a chunder in the sink!

Andrew said...

The lecturer might have been quite happy to educate his students by letting them cut up his body. Is that what commitment by a teacher to their students means?

Joanne Noragon said...

I knew medical students who took joy in scaring department secretaries by waggling cadaver hands around corners, stuff like that. I bet not all your students here were barfing.

FruitCake said...

The very thought of dissecting a frog freaked me out so much that I wagged biology classes for 3 months.

Do a car accident Auto-psy? You'd have to be nuts.

The Elephant's Child said...

I would have to pass. I can see the fascination - but revulsion would win. I am not a fainter, but a projectile vomiter par excellence.

Beach Bum said...

Damn!

Now that would have been a shocker! Of course seeing my teacher on a morgue slab I would be stupid enough assume it was a trick and say or do something that would have pissed off the dead man's brother.

River said...

I'm not sure how I would react. I'm not a fainter and I do watch those TV shows like Bones and Criminal Minds where gruesome corpses are often seen, so I'm thinking I'd probably be okay. Of course there is the smell to think about, that might do me in, you don't get that through TV, I believe it is pretty awful until or unless you get used to it.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day CLOUDIA: That's sad because you never got a chance to say goodbye or celebrate his/her life.

G' Day KATH: This incident actually happened not far from your neck of the woods.

G' Day ANDREW: I reckon it could depend on the colleges ethical policy whether its appropriate to carry out an Auotpsy on one of its ex-employees. I agree though i don't think the teacher would have minded.

G' Day JOANNE: I reckon their would have been many secretaries that would have fainted or barfed because of these pranks.

G' Day FRUIT CAKE: Didn't choose biology at school for that very reason. Carrying out an Autopsy on a car accident victim would be very messy indeed.

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: In other words you would have joined the other medical students spewing in the sink.

G' Day BEACH BUM: I could just imagine you'd do something silly and then you'd be in the bad books with Dragonwife.

G' Day RIVER: I'm really not sure how i'd react either, i have heard that some people never get used to the smell even after many years of working around cadavers.

Ygraine said...

I think perhaps my morbid curiosity would win the day and I'd have to go ahead with the autopsy!
Am I sick, or what?! Hehehe :D

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day YGRAINE: Nope not sick just curious of the unknown.

Annmarie Pipa said...

I think I would have fainted too!

Bananazą®‡ said...

Bananaz would go into auto-PSY Gangnam Style galloping to the nearest sink on the double.

ANITA said...

A true post.This happens all the time.As a nurse i could tell you alot of weird stories..however..If this should happen to me..i would take care of my companion students.Leave the corps to another class.Thanx for grea tpost.I like to read things like this..didnt know ya did things like this..thanx and happy monday Windsmoke♥

Lynn Proctor said...

oh i would have fainted or worse!

LifeRamblings said...

i'd have passed out for sure.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day ANNMARIE, LYNN & LIFE RAMBLINGS: I'm not really sure how i would react.

G' Day BANANAZ: I'd like to see ya do that.

G' Day ANITA: Yep, i do write ones like this so stay tuned there is more to come.

Red Nomad OZ said...

I guess it's good training for the harsh realities of emergency medicine, but really! What were they thinking?!?!

Rat dissection was as far as I got - but I think I can still smell the preservative solution ...

PerthDailyPhoto said...

It's never going to happen Windsmoke..what a story though!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RED: What were they thinking is spot on should never have happened. I'd say a lot people would have gotten into heaps of trouble over this after the media attention.

G' Day GRACE: I'm glad you liked the story.