Saturday, April 28, 2012

A Bonza Jest: Obsessively Materialistic.

Driving down the clogged street in his brand spanking new Lexus is Jack Juniper whose a very successful bank manager and is on his way to show off his pride and joy to his work colleagues.

Parking outside the Bank Of Contention Jacks opens the drivers side door and is collected by a fully loaded 10 tonne lorry which rips the door clean off sending it skittling along the street scape. Straight away Jack grabs his mobile phone and speed dials the emergency services.

Within minutes Senior Constable Lucy Lavender turns up in her unmarked police car. Before Lucy can ask Jack any questions, Jack starts to snivel and says, will ya look at my gorgeous brand spanking new Lexus i just picked today, its a write off, it'll never ever be the same again no matter what the panel beaters do to repair it.

Flabbergasted by Jacks outburst Lucy says, Crikey!, I can't believe how Obsessively Materialistic you people can be, your so focused on material possessions you fail to see the bigger picture.
What do you mean by that remark?.
Don't you realise your right arm has been severed below the elbow, must've been severed when that 10 tonne lorry collected you.
Stone the crows!, where's my $15,000 gold rolex watch gotten to?.
Blimey!, why were you wearing your gold rolex watch on your right arm instead of you left?.
So i could dangle my right arm out the window to show it off to everyone.
Yep!, that figures.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.


icyHighs said...

What an incredibly stupid man. Everybody knows the Lexus is strictly for soccer-moms.


Magsx2 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Good one. LOL.

River said...

Well, now that materialistic twit is going to have to learn to scratch himself left-handed isn't he?

Dave King said...

I guess it does figure, at that!

Ygraine said...

Absolutely hilarious, Windsmoke!
That is exactly how some people are about their possessions, isn't it?
This post is worthy of an award.
I love it :)

Joanne said...

If he'd only been driving on the wrong side of the road he would have been OK some other places.

FruitCake said...

Rapid fire machine gun laughter... Delicious!

The Elephant's Child said...

He has another arm, so of course he was more upset at loosing the watch...

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day ICY: That's a new one on me :-).

G' Day MAGS & FRUIT CAKE: Thanks for saying so its very much appreciated :-).

G' Day RIVER: He's only got himself to blame now that he has to do everything with the left arm :-).

G' Day DAVE: It certainly does :-).

G' Day YGRAINE: I reckon we all know someone like this :-).

G' day JOANNE: He'd probably lose the other arm instead :-).

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: Exactly :-).

Beach Bum said...

Jack sounds like a lot of Americans I unfortunately know.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

There's definitely a moral to this story Windsmoke,!!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day BEACH: I reckon we all know someone like this :-).

G' Day GRACE: Absolutely :-).

LifeRamblings said...

it's nice to have some bling. :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS: Yes, its good to have some bling but not go over board like this bloke does :-).