Friday, January 13, 2012

Billy Tea.

Its been two years since Lucas Lavender and Josh Juniper took over the running of the Contention Firewood Supply. In that time neither of them have gone on holidays or even had a weekend off. On friday morning Lucas and Josh follow the same routine as they have done for the last two years when Josh pipes up and says, I was thinking last night, when it dawned on me that we haven't had a break in the two years since we took over this business, its been flat chat seven days a week, we deserve a weekend off to go camping.
Has it really been that long, my how time flies when you're having fun, replies Lucas.
I wouldn't call it fun its been a hard slog.
So what do you have in mind?.
After the last delivery this afternoon lets load up one of the utes with our camping gear and head off to the Contention National Park before first light tomorrow morning.
Ok we'll take the weekend off and go camping.

Before first light next morning Lucas and Josh take off down the misty main road in their ute that is chock-a-block with camping gear. Just as the sun peeps above the tree tops, they turn off the main road, through the wide gates and enter the Contention National Park, zip down a bumpy road full of potholes filled with murky water right to the end where it meets the Contention River.
Where do ya reckon is a good spot to set up camp?, asks Lucas.
Near those clump of bushes should do, but not to close to the river we don't want to be flooded out should it rain cats and dogs. Lucas pulls up beside the clump of bushes and they begin to unload the ute and set up camp.
I'll wander around and collect a bundle of firewood for the fire so we can boil the billy for a brew, says Lucas.
While you're doing that i'll hunt around for a number of stones to build a fire place with, says Josh.
When that's done i think it would be time for a spot of fishing, hopefully we'll catch enough fish for tonights dinner.

When the fire dies down to glowing red coals Lucas rests a billy full of water on the warm stones, adds one spoonful of tea leaves for each person and one for the billy. Grabbing their fishing rods, tackle box and bait from the ute they wander along the skinny winding track toward the river. Within an hour they have landed four river trout between them.
I think four will do us for now, says Lucas.
I could go a brew right about now anyway, replies Josh.
With that they pack up their fishing gear and make their way back to the campsite and stash their fishing gear in the ute, wander over to the nearly dead campfire, where Lucas grabs a small slim branch, lifts the billy off the warm stones then in turn lifts off the lid, peers inside only to find tea leaves remain.
Well don't that beat all some mongrel has drunk our brew, says Lucas.
How low can ya get, replies Josh.
Not to worry i'll have a special surprise for the mongrel tomorrow.
What's a special surprise?.
You'll have to wait and see.

Next morning Lucas fills the billy with water, adds the tea leaves and is about to add his special surprise but stops when Josh walks up and stands beside him and asks, what's this special surprise of yours you've got cooked up?.
Stroll over to the ute and grab our rifles and ammo, says Lucas.
I take it we're going rabbit hunting, replies Josh.
Yep, we sure are.
While Josh strolls over to the ute Lucas adds his special surprise to the billy, sprints over to Josh, grabs his rifle and drags Josh through the bushes for a couple hours of rabbit hunting. After bagging three good sized rabbits they decide to head back to the campsite to see if the same mongrel has drunk their brew again. Crashing through the bushes they both sprint to the campfire along the way Lucas grabs the steel barbeque tongs, lifts off the billy's lid to find the brew hasn't be drunk, he then dips the tongs in the billy's water feeling around for his special surprise that is his spare set of mouldy false teeth, lifts 'em out to show Josh.
My special surprise worked a treat, says Lucas.
Ya not wrong, i don't think anyone will be game enough to drink our brew again, yuk!, disgusting, replies Josh.
I'll make a fresh brew while you're skinning and gutting the rabbits, by the time you've finished it should be well and truely brewed.
                                                         
Came across this story in the newspaper which actually happened the real parts are the false teeth and the billy tea. Once again my bizarre mind went into overdrive adding bits and pieces here and there. Would you drink billy tea after somebody's mouldy false teeth were placed in it, i know i wouldn't yuk!.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.   

15 comments:

Elisabeth said...

A great yarn, Windsmoke, but the part of me that can't suspend disbelief, wonders that a person about to drink said brew might notice the tea in the first place unless he saw Lucas put the teeth in.

It doesn't matter much though, it is a rollicking read. I kept waiting for something monumental to happen and in a sense it didn't. The teeth were the surprise.

River said...

I'm thinking billy tea left to brew would be so thick and black the teeth wouldn't be seen.
And the first billy full probably boiled and evaporated while they were fishing.
Still a good yarn though, made me giggle.

The Elephant's Child said...

Thanks Windsmoke. Second hand teeth in the tea would certainly put me off.

FruitCake said...

Mouldy teeth = green tea?

JOutlaw said...

That does sound oddly gross

Dave King said...

Excellent tale and very well told.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Haha! good story Windsmoke, don't like brewed tea so no probs for me!!

2Peeeps Health and Fitness said...

Making Billy Tea is one of those legendary pastimes where every bushy has his own method and style lol

Beach Bum said...

Great story, down here in the South we also take a special pride in the tea we brew.

In fact my grandma iced tea was such a special treat I cannot describe the frustration I feel at my inability to recreate it.

Andrew said...

I'd pass on the tea. I'd pass on it teeth or no teeth actually.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day ELISABETH: That's a valid point but i'm glad you thought it was a rollicking read and was surprised :-).

G' Day RIVER: Those are two valid points but i'm glad you got a giggle out of it :-).

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: Agreed :-).

G' Day FRUIT: Would the tea taste the same as green tea, i suspect not :-).

G' Day OUTLAW: I reckon it would be gross in anyones language. Welcome to my humble blog and i hope to hear from you in the future :-).

G' Day DAVE: I'm stoked you thought is was very well told its
much appreciated :-).

G' Day PERTH: I'm chuffed you thought it was a good story, thanks for saying so :-).

G' Day PEEEPS: Absolutely :-).

G' Day BEACH: Tried iced tea once didn't like it just didn't have the same taste as freshly brewed tea :-).

Life Ramblings said...

sounds very disgusting but thanks for the great story.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day ANDREW: I take it you're a coffee drinker?? :-).

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS: Its definitely very yuk! :-).

Ygraine said...

Think I'll give tea a miss from now on. I've suddenly gone off it. Can't imagine why!!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day YGRAINE: Just the thought of it would turn you off drinking tea :-).