Monday, January 02, 2012

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups, Today I'm Featuring: Buns, A Name Tag, Dead End.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: What type of dance do Buns do?.
A: Abundance!.

The Contention Nursing Home has arranged an outing to the Contention Zoo and each resident is handed A Name Tag with their name on it.
Do ya know what the draw back is when you get old?, asks Jock.
I haven't a clue, replies Clarry.
When you're given A Name Tag and you have to pin it on yourself upside down so you don't forget who you are!.

Q: Why did the employee quit his at the mortuary?.
A: Because its a Dead End job!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

17 comments:

malcfifty said...

Hi Windsmoke, Concerning the dead-end job:

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT

AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

(I wonder who thinks these things up?) Cheers (and a Very Happy New Year!), Mal.

The Elephant's Child said...

The Contention Nursing Home gets my vote. Thanks.

magsx2 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Love the nursing home joke. :)

Bananazą®‡ said...

That's cool put a smile on my face..lolz. on malcfifty's would like the #15 job too.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day MAL: I find retirement fits like a glove :-).

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD & MAGS: That's the most popular one so far :-).

G' Day BANANAZ: That's good to know these put a smile on your face :-).

River said...

I'm laughing at A Bun Dance.
I think retirement would suit me just fine too. Although I did enjoy my job in the shoe factory. Mostly because of the people I think, they were all just great. I wouldn't mind working in a morgue, unfortunately you need years of schooling and I'm just not up for it.

FruitCake said...

A friend of mine collects nursing home jokes and he'll love this one. The question is... how long will he remember it?

Dave King said...

Great stuff. Keep it up.
A great New Year to you and yours.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RIVER: The workplace can be a pleasant place to work in with the right people :-).

G' Day FRUIT CAKE: If he's as bad as you make out probably not long :-).

G' Day DAVE: There's definitely lots more to come :-).

Beach Bum said...

Given the brain farts I have been having recently I may end up like Jock.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day BEACH BUM: I hope they don't smell too bad :-).

2Peeeps Health and Fitness said...

keep update nice stuff happy new year

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day 2PEEEPS: Absolutely :-).

Life Ramblings said...

thanks for the laughter. :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS: Thanks for saying so :-).

Ygraine said...

Definitely the Contention Nursing Home for me! But they are all brilliant.
I desperately needed something to make me laugh on such a gloomy day!
Thanks for that, Windsmoke :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day YGRAINE: I'm glad they made your gloomy day brighter :-).