Monday, January 02, 2012

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups, Today I'm Featuring: Buns, A Name Tag, Dead End.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: What type of dance do Buns do?.
A: Abundance!.

The Contention Nursing Home has arranged an outing to the Contention Zoo and each resident is handed A Name Tag with their name on it.
Do ya know what the draw back is when you get old?, asks Jock.
I haven't a clue, replies Clarry.
When you're given A Name Tag and you have to pin it on yourself upside down so you don't forget who you are!.

Q: Why did the employee quit his at the mortuary?.
A: Because its a Dead End job!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.


malcfifty said...

Hi Windsmoke, Concerning the dead-end job:

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.



(I wonder who thinks these things up?) Cheers (and a Very Happy New Year!), Mal.

The Elephant's Child said...

The Contention Nursing Home gets my vote. Thanks.

magsx2 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Love the nursing home joke. :)

Bananazą®‡ said...

That's cool put a smile on my face..lolz. on malcfifty's would like the #15 job too.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day MAL: I find retirement fits like a glove :-).

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD & MAGS: That's the most popular one so far :-).

G' Day BANANAZ: That's good to know these put a smile on your face :-).

River said...

I'm laughing at A Bun Dance.
I think retirement would suit me just fine too. Although I did enjoy my job in the shoe factory. Mostly because of the people I think, they were all just great. I wouldn't mind working in a morgue, unfortunately you need years of schooling and I'm just not up for it.

FruitCake said...

A friend of mine collects nursing home jokes and he'll love this one. The question is... how long will he remember it?

Dave King said...

Great stuff. Keep it up.
A great New Year to you and yours.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RIVER: The workplace can be a pleasant place to work in with the right people :-).

G' Day FRUIT CAKE: If he's as bad as you make out probably not long :-).

G' Day DAVE: There's definitely lots more to come :-).

Beach Bum said...

Given the brain farts I have been having recently I may end up like Jock.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day BEACH BUM: I hope they don't smell too bad :-).

2Peeeps Health and Fitness said...

keep update nice stuff happy new year

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day 2PEEEPS: Absolutely :-).

Life Ramblings said...

thanks for the laughter. :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS: Thanks for saying so :-).

Ygraine said...

Definitely the Contention Nursing Home for me! But they are all brilliant.
I desperately needed something to make me laugh on such a gloomy day!
Thanks for that, Windsmoke :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day YGRAINE: I'm glad they made your gloomy day brighter :-).