Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups, Today I'm Featuring: Herdsmen, Jelly and Shoplifters.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: Why do celtic Herdsman wear tartan kilts?.
A: So the sheep don't hear the zip!.

Burt Blonde asks, Why do ya feed Daisy Dog bowls of Jelly?.
Rusty Redhead replies, I want to see if she'll poop Jelly beans!.

A sign in the window of the Contention Supermarket warns potential shoplifters of their fate should they be caught shoplifting.

Warning to shoplifters.
Anybody caught shoplifting.
Will be gagged and handcuffed to a chair.
Beaten to within an inch of their life.
Waterboarded.
Whipped with a cat-o-nine tails.
Any survivors will then be prosecuted to the full extent of
the law.                       

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.  

19 comments:

Magsx2 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Great jokes, I especially liked the shoplifting joke, if only we could do that, shoplifting may stop althogher. LOL.

The Elephant's Child said...

And how many shoplifters do get prosecuted I wonder?

Beach Bum said...

Q: Why do celtic Herdsman wear tartan kilts?.
A: So the sheep don't hear the zip!.


LOL!!!!!

That one was my favorite.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day MAGS: Maybe in the past but not in this politically correct world :-).

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: As long as you've got a good sob story you won't be prosecuted :-).

G' Day BEACH: I thought you'd enjoy that one :-).

FruitCake said...

won't hear the zip - love it!
[the verification word is tyrewe]

River said...

I like the shoplifting sign, but I'm thinking our clever shoplifters would just get more clever and still get away with half the store stock! Even without such a sign, probably 95% of shoplifters are never caught. Although last week, we did catch one and saw him escorted off the premises in handcuffs and flanked by two burly police officers.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Shouldn't it be 'why do New Zealand herdsmen wear trousers, because they want the sheep to hear the zip haha!' You made me laugh Windsmoke!!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day FRUIT CAKE & PERTH: That's the most popular one so far :-).

G' Day RIVER: Your shoplifter will probably get away with a slap on the wrist and sent home :-).

Tempo said...

Thanks for the funnies...

Dave King said...

I guess I go with the first one.

Ygraine said...

'Warning to Shoplifters' is my favourite.
This is pure genius!
Might encourage a masochist to shoplift though!!!

2Peeeps Health and Fitness said...

lo it;s weird :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day TEMPO: I'm glad you enjoyed 'em :-).

G' Day DAVE: Yep, that's a goodie :-).

G' Day YGRAINE: I reckon if someone is going to shoplift they will even if there's a sign or not depends on how desperate they are :-).

G' Day PEEEPS: Absolutely :-).

Red Nomad OZ said...

Hahaha! Love the jellybeans one!!

And even though I'm not one of your 'bonza blogs' I appreciate you dropping by!!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RED: I can't find my blog on your blog roll in fact i can't even find your blog roll it seems to be missing in action :-).

Life Ramblings said...

i'll join the chorus. the shoplifter gets my vote.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS: That one is the most popular indeed :-).

Red Nomad OZ said...

Hi again! My apologies - no offence intended. I thought your 'bonza blogs' were the only ones you subscribed to - so all I meant was that I was surprised (but very grateful) that you kept visiting mine!!!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RED: I've many Blogs listed on my Blogger Dashboard including yours. My policy is if you are kind enough to list my Blog on your Blogroll i'll list your Blog on my Bonza Blogs i reckon this is only fair, i hope that is as clear as mud as misunderstandings happen everyday but hey that's life :-).