Monday, September 03, 2012

A Bonza Jest: Steak Sandwich.

Spotting his bus flying past the foggy window of the Contention Fish 'N' Chip shop and pulling up at the bus stop to let off a few passengers. Josh Juniper quickly stuffs his Steak Sandwich into his backpack, slings it over his shoulder, barges through the door, sprints along the footpath toward the bus stop in a vain attempt to catch his bus before it takes off without him.

All of a sudden the bus takes off in a cloud of thick diesel smoke much to the dismay of Josh who slows down to walking pace and ends up leaning against a bluestone wall along side the bus stop which prevents anyone from falling off the footpath and into the shallow muddy creek below. A few moments pass by Josh remembers his Steak Sandwich is still in his backpack, he fumbles around, finds it amongst all the other junk, rips open the white paper bag and begins to munch away with a passion.

Strolling along the footpath from the opposite direction is Grandma Grace whose out walking Frenchy her much loved white french poodle. She comes to a halt  at the bus stop, where Frenchy sniffs the air and gets very excited at the smell of Joshs Steak Sandwich. He wanders over, plonks himself in front of Josh whinning and looking up at Josh with sad hungry eyes and then starts dry humping Joshs leg much to his disgust.
Hey lady do ya mind if i toss him a bit?, asks Josh.
Not at all, replies Grandma Grace.

Where upon Josh grabs Frenchy by the scruff of the neck and tosses him over the bluestone wall and into the muddy shallow creek below.
What did ya do that for ya mongrel?, screams Grandma Grace.
He was annoying me and you said it would be ok to toss him a bit, so i did.

Furious she storms over to Josh, kicks him in the shin with her steel toed jackboots. While Josh is hopping around on one leg grasping his painful shin, she lets fly with her heavy leather handbag smacking him right across the side of the head sending Josh sprawling in a heap onto the footpath.

Meanwhile Frenchy, covered in black, smelly mud from head to paw has clambered up the muddy creek bank, squeezes through the gap between the bluestone wall and the neighbouring fence, scrambles up to Grandma Grace, then they both wander along the footpath toward home.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

12 comments:

FruitCake said...

How did you know my Grandma's name?

Joanne Noragon said...

Josh could use some training in time management, to be at the bus stop on time.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

That has a nice ring to it 'Grandma Grace' haha! am beginning to wonder if it will ever happen! Now i was so sure it was going to end with Frenchy climbing up the bank and eating the rest of Josh's steak sandwich which had dropped in the scuffle with my namesake!!

Kath Lockett said...

'toss him a bit' had even worse connotations for me initially!

River said...

Silly Grandma, should have asked Josh to be more specific.

Andrew said...

I didn't see that coming.

Beach Bum said...

Furious she storms over to Josh, kicks him in the shin with her steel toed jackboots.

My wife buys shoes from the same place.

Annmarie Pipa said...

maybe I have to start waiting at the bus stop with my kids. seems I am missing a lot!

The Elephant's Child said...

You should never cross a Grandma...

Lynn Proctor said...

oh yeah, the bus stop can be very interesting :)

Ygraine said...

Have to agree with Kath. Made me wonder what was coming next! Hehehe:D

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day FRUIT CAKE: I have the nose that knows!.

G' Day JOANNE: Hunger pains got the better of him.

G' Day GRACE: Your time will come eventually i'm sure.

G' Day KATH & RIVER: It was a sneaky phrase with two meanings in the end.

G' Day ANDREW: I'm glad you enjoyed it.

G' Day BEACH BUM: Your wife must have an interesting collection of shoes.

G' Day ANNMARIE & LYNN: The bus stop is a real hot bed of going ons that'll make ya hair curl.

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: Absolutely especially if she is wearing jackboots.

G' Day YGRAINE: I'm glad you got a laugh out it.