Sunday, September 23, 2012

Witty Answering Machine Messages.

If you're a cat burglar then we're probably at home cleaning our arsenel of weapons and are unable to answer the phone, or else we aren't home, so its ok to leave a message!.

Twinkle twinkle little star
How i wonder who you are?
Leave your message after the beep
I'll call you back before you sleep.

Greetings, you have contacted the Clairvoyant Detective Agency. We know who you are and what your game is, so at the sound of the tone, just hang up!.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.


FruitCake said...

I love all of these. Thank you.

What can I say to the next electricity plan salesperson that won't have them recoil in horror saying "there's no need to say such foul things to someone you don't even know"? Something witty would at least leave me in a better mood. [Don't care about them - it's all about me.]

The Elephant's Child said...

The third has my vote because I need take no further action. Thanks Windsmoke.

Red Nomad OZ said...

Haha! Like the poem - but LOVE the clairvoyant!! My best 'answering machine' message was when I actually answered the phone, realised it was someone I didn't want to talk to, then successfully pretended to be an answering machine!!

Andrew said...

The last one is funny because now with caller ID, you do know who has called, even if they have not left a message.

Beach Bum said...

Got to try these!

Bananazą®‡ said...

Wonder will the caller really hang up or leave a cool message? That's a good one.

Joanne Noragon said...

Love #3. My actual favorite was a friend's three year old daughter saying "You have reached the Smith household. This is the housekeeper. The family is out. Leave a message." As only a three year old could shout it out. The little girl was a teenage before the message was lost.

Ygraine said...

Hehe I love the third one, because I am so tired of all those telesales calls!
Brilliant :)

Cloudia said...

Laughter is such magic!

Aloha from Honolulu,
Wishing you a sweet week ahead!
Comfort Spiral

> < } } ( ° >

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Lynn Proctor said...

haha i love that last one :)

Annmarie Pipa said...

better than , hello. hello. hello? beep.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day FRUIT CAKE: The first one may do the trick and scare the pants off 'em.

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD, RED, ANDREW, JOANNE, YGRAINE, BANANAZ & LYNN: The last one is the best and most popular this time round.

G' Day BEACH BUM: Be my guest.

G' Day CLOUDIA: Laughter certainly is the best medicine.

G' Day ANNMARIE: Absolutely.

River said...

I love the last one too.
@FruitCake; try saying "I was just going to ask you the same thing!" when they ask if you want to change electricity suppliers. The same question works for people calling for donations too, and the beggars at the bus stop.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RIVER: I'll give that saying a try.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

I'm so changing my message to the last one Windsmoke, would solve a lot of aggravation!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day GRACE: Hope it works for ya.