Friday, February 11, 2011

A Bonza Jest: Confession Box.

It's saturday night and Burt Blonde and his best cobber Rusty Redhead are all dressed up to the nines and on the prowl for some serious action, first things first. Burt Blonde rolls up to the local parish church for confession, slips into the Confession Box, draws the curtain, waits a few minutes for Father Francis to arrive.

When Father Francis arrives and settles in Burt Blonde says, Forgive me Father for i have sinned, because i slept with a woman who was not my faithful wife.
Father Francis replies, I'm guessing it's Maiden Mary who works at the dairy farm down the road a piece.
Burt Blonde replies, No, But makes a mental note of Maiden Mary anyway for later on tonight.
Father Francis asks, Don't tell me it's Barmaid Beth from The Rose and Thistle Hotel across the road.
Burt Blonde replies, No, and again makes another mental note of Barmaid Beth for later on tonight.
Father Francis says, To be forgiven for your sins you must say ten hail mary's, kiss the cross, then get out of my sight.

After mumbling ten hail mary's, kissing the cross Burt Blonde quits the Confession Box, sprints through the church, out the door, down the concrete path and jumps into Rusty Redhead's ford ute parked outside the church and says with a wide grin on his face, Father Francis fell for it and gave me the names of two new slappers that could be up for it tonight if we play our cards right.

From out of the blue Father Francis is tapping on the utes window so Burt Blonde winds it down and asks, What's wrong Father?.
You know those two names i gave you before, well Maiden Mary is an old jersey cow and Barmaid Beth is a vicious Jack Russell watch dog. I knew what your game was right from the start better luck next time bye and walks off down the foothpath to the amazement of Burt Blonde who is lost for words.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.


Beach Bum said...


You know I never ever thought of that angle. You would figure that a man of faith use to dealing with the weaknesses of his flock might know which ladies are hot to trot.

Mags118 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Had a good laugh, and it was definitely an unexpected ending.:)

Public Confessions said...

awesome, just awespome

-anonymous public confessions

Life Ramblings said...

Yet another fun story that makes me LOL. happy weekend.

Dave King said...


Anonymous said...

Nice punchline!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day BEACH BUM, Everybody has an angle no matter who you are :-).

G' Day MAGS118, I'm glad you liked the unexpected ending, stay tuned for more like it :-).

G' Day PUBLIC CONFESSIONS, Thank you for you generous comment and welcome to my humble blog and i hope to hear from you in the future :-).

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS, Fantastic that you though it was a fun story :-).

G' Day DAVE KING, Fantastic that you thought it was priceless :-).

G' Day JANE HEALY, I'm glad you thought the punchline was nice, i nearly didn't include it :-).