Friday, May 20, 2011

A Bonza Jest: Large Red Board.

Casually strolling through the wood and glass front door of the seedy, sleazy, grubby and dimly lit local chemist Luke makes a bee-line straight to Sally the sales assistant who's busy restocking a shelf with cough mixture and asks for a packet of coloured french letters, What size do ya need mate?, asks Sally.
Blowed if i know, i've never measured my willy before, replies a slightly embarrassed Luke.
Not a problem, replies Sally. Just walk through the green door behind you and you'll see a Large Red Board with different size holes drilled in it suspended from the ceiling by two strands of wire cable, just pop your willy in each hole until you come across the correct size or one that's close enough for you.

Luke turns around walks through the green door and enters a cold, dark and forboding room with only a desk lamp shining away in one corner of what could have been an old dusty store room in a past life. Standing in front of the Large Red Board Luke tries each different size hole. So focused on the job in hand, Luke didn't realize that Sally has snuck into the dusty old store room via a camouflaged door disguised as an old battered and badly scratched wardrobe and is on the other side of the Large Red Board having a grope each time Luke pokes his willy through a different size hole.

After Luke is satisfied he's found the correct size he rolls up to the cluttered glass counter at the front of the chemist shop where Sally is perched on a wooden stool.
Is everything ok mate?, asks Sally.
Everthing is just fine and dandy, replies Luke.
Which size coloured french letters have ya settled on?, asks Sally.
Forget the packet of coloured french letters i asked for, just sell me the Large Red Board instead because its magical, it really turns me on and tickles my fancy big time.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

9 comments:

Beach Bum said...

Very funny!

Of course, I'd never do anything of the sort, with my luck there would be some crazy chick on the other end with a huge pair of scissors.

River said...

Silly Sally. Should have taken photos as well.

Cloudia said...

BIG time :)


Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

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Mags118 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Well done, and very well thought out.
Loved your comment Beach Bum. :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day BEACH BUM: Snip, snip a painful way to have vasectomy :-).

G' Day RIVER: The camera flash would have given the game away :-).

G' Day CLOUDIA: Absolutely :-).

G' Day MAGS118: Thank you for your generous comment it's much appreciated and valued at all times :-).

The Elephant's Child said...

I heard a joke this afternoon and thought of you immediately:

We were soooo poor when I was born that it was a good thing I was a boy or I would have had nothing to play with.

Snicker.

Dave King said...

I didn't spot that coming. Kept me guessing until the end.

Red Nomad OZ said...

Sally's not the first entrepreneur to make a living from sleaze - but she's probably the first to corner the market in red boards!!!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: Made me smile big time absolutely fantastic joke, 10 out of 10 :-).

G' Day DAVE KING: I'm stoked it kept you guessing to the end as i wasn't sure it would :-).

G' Day RED NOMAD OZ: Absolutely :-).