Sunday morning at 11.30 am and Ruby Redhead's mobile phone starts chirping its her 95 year old Grandma who's in tears.
G' Day Grandma what's up, why are you crying?, asks Ruby.
I'm ringing to ask if you could please come over right away Grandpa passed away this morning from a heart attack.
That's to be expected being 97 years old, i'll be there in 15 minutes, says Ruby.
Racing through the front door Ruby pecks her Grandma on both cheeks while at the same time embracing her and asks, what caused Grandpa to have a heart attack?.
It happened early this morning while we copulating on the couch in the spare bedroom.
Ruby couldn't believe her ears and says, you two were having nookie on the couch in the spare bedroom when you're both close to 100 years old that is asking for trouble.
Absolutely not my child because many years ago when Grandpa and i started getting older we discovered we still had a robust nookie life and the ideal time to copulate was when the church bells started to chime it was the right rhythm, nice slow and easy, Grandpa went in on the ding and out on the dong it was heaven, Ruby just looked at Grandma gobsmacked and lost for words.
Grabbing a tissue from its box Grandma wipes away her tears and continues on, you know my child your Grandpa would still be alive and kicking today if that damned Mr Whippy ice cream van hadn't driven past at that exact moment blaring away with its jingle that was a faster rhythm than the church bells poor Grandpa got muddled up and started going faster in time with the rhythm of Mr Whippy's jingle and couldn't keep up that's why Grandpa had his heart attack, it was just to much for him!.
(c) 2011 Windsmoke.