Friday, December 23, 2011

A Bonza Jest: Blown Glass Bottle.

On the limestone cliff's in the vast Contention National Park which overlook the Sea Of Contention is Lucas Lavender, his younger brother Larry, with them is their best cobber Josh Juniper who are sitting on a wobbly wooden park bench taking a breather from their morning jog. Lucas decamps from the park bench, leans on a wheelie bin full of rubbish and discovers a Blown Glass Bottle resting on top of all the rubbish, he picks it up and says hey guys look what i found in the wheelie bin.
That's a very unusual style bottle, says Larry.
Its got a cork, pull it out and see what happens, says Josh.

After wrestling with the cork for a bit Lucas finally pulls it out. Suddenly a swirl of purple smoke emerges, drifts over to the park bench, slowly the purple smoke vanishes and in its place is Gene Genie who hovers above the park bench cross-legged with arms folded across his chest.
Are you a fair dinkum Genie?, asks Lucas.
Is the pope catholic?, replies Gene Genie.
I guess he is catholic.
Well that makes me a real Genie doesn't it.
How many wishes will you grant us?, asks Larry.
I'll grant each one of you one wish each in gratitude for releasing me from that cramped, smelly, mouldy bottle.
Ok we'll be in it, what do we have to do?.

Its as simple as falling off a log, says Gene Genie.
All you have to do is take a running leap off the limestone cliff behind you and at the same time shout out your wish and you'll land in a dinghy chock-a-block of that wish.
Sounds easy enough, what do ya reckon guys shall we give it a shot?.
Yeah, why not we've got nothing to lose, replies Josh.
I'm in so long as Lucas goes first, says Larry.
Ok, i'll go first, are you ready Gene Genie?.
I'm at your command.

Lucas takes a few steps back, takes off at a cracking pace, leaps off the cliff and shouts money, when he lands in his dinghy its crammed with $100 notes.
Next up is Josh who also takes a few steps back, takes off like a bat out of hades, leaps off the cliff and shouts gorgeous sheila's, when he lands in his dinghy its chock-full of the most gorgeous sheila's Josh has ever seen in his life.
Now comes Larry's turn, who's a bit mentally challenged and has forgotten most of Gene Genies instructions and runs like the clappers, leaps off the cliff and shouts weeee, when he lands in his dinghy its full to the brim with yellow piddle and nearly drowns!.

Just goes to show you have to be very careful what you say when making a wish. What would you wish for if given a chance?.

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD your special Haiku you asked for will be posted first thing tomorrow morning enjoy.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

10 comments:

Andrew said...

World peace won't fit in a boat and no will no more starving children, so I'll just have the cash then thanks.

FruitCake said...

Don't know how to put technological know-how in a boat. Nor do I know how to top Andrew's comment.
Very interesting question.

Beach Bum said...

What would you wish for if given a chance?.

Genies are a pretty tricky bunch so wishing for world peace could get us killed so I would wish for something simple, like 20-20 eyesight.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day ANDREW: You could donate some of the cash you wished for to the starving children and to world peace :-).

G' Day FRUIT: You'd need a boat the size of the titanic or bigger :-).

G' Day BEACH BUM: The simpler the better and much safer :-).

Tempo said...

Hmm, what to wish for...I guess a very high IQ would/could bring all the money you could ever want to spend, but i guess you'd end up so smart you'd know money doesn't buy happiness and end up broke anyway... (Sigh!)

The Elephant's Child said...

Perfect health for everyone? Which would certainly end the starvation issues, but I guess a healthy soldier can fight better for longer. Sigh.
I am really looking forward to the haiku on your name. Thank you.

Dave King said...

Best not to, I think - decided that long ago.
All the blessings of the season to you and yours.

Red Nomad OZ said...

The smart-arse answer would be to wish that any more wishes I made would come true!

But I've learned to be careful what I wish for ...

River said...

I would ask for three more wishes, and then would ask for:
1) an end to disabling diseases worldwide forever, (no more arthritis etc)
2) no tooth decay, (perfect teeth for everyone)
3) a mega lotto win for me,(so I can spread it around and help my family and all my friends)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day TEMPO: Money certainly doesn't buy happiness you'd be better off broke and happy. Merry Christmas :-).

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: All are Bonza wishes. I reckon you'll like the Haiku. Merry Christmas :-).

G' Day DAVE: Wise move. Merry Christmas :-).

G' Day RED: Absolutely true. Merry Christmas :-).

G' Day RIVER: All are Bonza wishes indeed. Merry Christmas :-).