Friday, March 25, 2011

A Bonza Jest: Abode Of The Damned.

During a violent struggle on the tiled kitchen floor with Harry the House Owner, Alec the Cat Burglar is stabbed twice in the chest with a large stainless steel carving knife by Harry who was trying to prevent Alec from making a clean get away with two pillow cases full of electronic devices so he could pawn them to feed his heroin addiction. Sadly Alec passed away from his wounds inflicted by a remorseful Harry.

After Alec's funeral he ended up in the Abode Of The Damned and is greeted at the flaming gates by Lucifer himself who says, Punishments dished out here are many and varied and may be changed by me at anytime, you must choose your first punishment right away. Lucifer and Alec amble down a short tunnel lit by glowing red walls and floor that show the way to the end where three torture chambers are carved into the glowing red walls. Lucifer says, This is where punishments are dished out to the Damned.

In the first torture chamber directly in front of Alec is a bloke suspended in mid-air by chains of fire around his ankles and wrists and is being whipped by a undead entity of flames.
In the second torture chamber to the right of Alec is a young woman also suspended in mid-air, facing the red glowing floor with chains of fire wrapped around her whole body and is being smacked with a stick of fire by another undead entity of flames. Alec says, There's no way i'll choose the first two punishments, what's next.

Alec walks across to his left towards the third torture chamber and sees a gorgeous redhead performing fellatio on a decrepit wrinkly bloke who is tied to a stone chair by chains of fire. Alec says, I choose this punishment first over the other two anyday. Lucifer walks into the torture chamber, taps the gorgeous redhead on the shoulder and says, ok, you can stop now, you've been relieved by this dumb bunny.
Realising his mistake Alec panics dashes back up the short tunnel, slams headlong into the tall flaming gates and disappears into the dark forboding waste land beyond.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.


Cloudia said...


Aloha to you
from Waikiki!

Comfort Spiral



River said...

Oh, that's a good one!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day CLOUDIA, Especially if your bad boy, that's the only time you'll end up there :-).

G' Day RIVER, I though it was only average and had second thoughts about posting it, but your comment has proved me wrong :-).

Anonymous said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Yes I also liked it, a great ending, and a good laugh.

Life Ramblings said...

the punishment seems too tough.

Beach Bum said...


You know I figure Hell might be setup that way, just when you think you might get away with something the true nature of eternal punishment becomes apparent.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day MAGSX2, Thank you, i'm glad you liked it, i didn't know whether the ending would work, looks like it did :-).

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS & BEACH BUM, You only end up there if you're a really, really bad person and deserve the eternal punishments :-).

Akelamalu said...

I hope I don't end up in hell! ;)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day AKELAMALU, You'll only end up there if your a bad person, i can think of other more pleasant places to be :-).