Friday, November 25, 2011

Upside Down.

After finishing a counter lunch of steak, chips and salad followed by a few beers at the Contention Hotel, Grandpa Grey who's 90 not out, staggers out the front door and is blinded by the hot blazing and almost loses his balance on the steps. With his hand sheilding his eyes Grandpa finnally steps onto the footpath, to make matters worse he is well nigh cleaned up by twin brother and sister Graham and Gemma Green riding their brand new mountain bikes along the footpath at break neck speed.
Why don't you two young whipper snappers be more careful i almost filled my boxer shorts, screams Grandpa at the top of his lungs while shaking his fist at them. Unbeknown to Grandpa who can't see past his nose without his glasses on, Graham Green turns around pokes his tongue out along with a one finger salute.

Now a wee bit confused Grandpa has forgotten the errand he was on and scours the top pockets of his blue flannel check shirt in the hope of finding his to do list, instead he comes across two letters that need posting to Australia but have no postage stamps stuck on them. Grandpa now realises that the Contention Post Office is his next port of call and takes off at a very brisk pace along the footpath to the post office on the corner, storms up the disabled ramp through the automatic doors and collides headlong into the last customer in the queue which is ten deep inside the post office.
Oh! no, i'll be here for hours mumbles Grandpa to himself.

What seemed to be hours which was actually only 20 minutes Grandpa is finally at the head of the queue waiting to be served.
Next please, grumbles Penny Postmistress.
Grandpa ambles over to the crowded counter and says, I need two stamps so i post these letters and would you be so kind as to stick them on for me i'm a bit short sighted and i've forgotten my glasses.
No problem i can do that for you, hang on a minute do you realise you've written the adressess Upside Down.
Yes i do, because they're going to Australia, you know the land down under.
Gobsmacked Penny sticks the postage stamps on the letters and says, the post box is out the front at the end of the disabled ramp you can post them on your way out.

Mumbling again to himself Grandpa strides through the automatic doors, eyes the post box recessed in the wall and pops 'em through the slot, strides down the disabled ramp and is once again well nigh cleaned up by twin brother and sister Graham and Gemma Green riding their brand new mountain bikes full tilt along the footpath in the opposite direction.
Grandpa once again mumbles to himself, i'm convinced those two young whipper snappers are stalking me then wanders off toward home.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.


The Elephant's Child said...

Poor Grandpa. Whipper-snippers these days ....

Magsx2 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
I love it, wrote upside down because the letters are going to OZ. "The Land Downunder". LOL.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day THE ELEPHANTS CHILD: Or ankle biters :-).

G' Day MAGS: I'm chuffed you loved it, thank you its much appreciated :-).

Tempo said...

Hi Windsmoke, Like Mags I find that line funny, we get a lot of jokes about that. Thanks for the smile

River said...

He's 90 and STILL eating steak'n'chips pub lunches?? Go grampa!
Had to laugh at the upside down addresses.

FruitCake said...

Yep, might try writing upside down next time I post something northwards.

Dave King said...

I agree with him. I think they were stalking him!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day TEMPO: I'm stoked you got a smile out of it just like MAGS :-).

G' Day RIVER: He's still got his own teeth :-).

G' Day FRUIT CAKE: So you reckon people living up north are more upside down than us down here :-).

G' Day DAVE: Could be wrong place at the wrong time :-).