Saturday, June 02, 2012

A Bonza Jest: White Piece Of Cord.

Its tea time at the Contention Italian Restaurant which is packed to the rafters with diners that are piling in by the truck loads. Perched on a chair with his bowl of minestrone soup in front of him is Dean Diner whose about to take a slurp of soup from his soup spoon when a drunken diner, stumbles knocking the soup spoon from his hand and sending it soaring across the table and onto the dirty floor.

Hovering close by is Wilbur Waiter who notices the kerfuffle, he ambles over and produces a clean soup spoon from his trouser pocket and places it on the table beside the bowl minestrone soup.
Dean thanks Wilbur for his prompt service then asks, tell me why do you waiters carry soup spoons in your trouser pockets?.

Its a well known fact that one in four diners drop their soup spoons on the dirty floor just like you. We carry them in our trouser pockets so we don't waste time running back and forth to the kitchen to collect a clean soup spoon everytime, will that be all sir?.
Actually no, i've noticed that you and all the other waiters have a White Piece Of Cord dangling from your trouser flies, what's the idea behind that?.

A survey recently conducted in our restaurant revealed that waiters can save more time and serve more diners if we don't wash our hands after going to the dunny, instead we all decided to tie a White Piece Of Cord to our willies and pull it out of our trousers so we don't contaminate our hands.

During this time Deans slurps another spoonful of minestrone soup and says, i see your point, what baffles me is how do you place your willy back in your trousers?.
I can't speak for the other waiters, i just use a soup spoon to scoop my willy back inside my trousers.
Stunned Dean drops his soup spoon on the dirty floor and says, that's scandalous, you can now get me another clean soup spoon directly from the kitchen this time thank you.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke. 


River said...

Eeuw! I'm never eating out again!

Dave King said...

And me!

Tempo said...

Nice, you never worked as a waiter did you?

FruitCake said...

This story has just provoked so many memories... don't know how you do it!

Beach Bum said...


I've heard talk from waiters and waitresses and you hit rather close to home on this one.

LifeRamblings said...

yucks, that is rather disgusting. i'll have to think twice before i eat out again.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

That Dean, he just has no sense of humour. Nevertheless the Contention Italian Restaurant is now off my 'places to eat list' haha!

Andrew said...

Noted that the spoons are kept in pockets so they stay warm.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RIVER, DAVE & LIFE RAMBLINGS: Just don't order the minestrone soup :-).

G' Day TEMPO: Nope! :-).

G' Day FRUIT: Sometimes i wonder how i do it to :-).

G' Day BEACH: Sounds like there is some true in this after all :-).

G' Day GRACE: You can still dine at the Contention Italian Restaurant just order spaghetti instead :-).

G' Day ANDREW: Sounds like you're writing from experience :-).

magsx2 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
That does it I am never eating out again. LOL.

By the way I love your new look for your blog, very nice. :)

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day MAGS: I'm glad someone noticed my new look blog, thank you. As the saying goes a change is as good as a holiday :-).

Stewart M said...

That’s appalling!

How does a fisherman take home his catch?

In an eel-barrow!


Windsmoke. said...

G' Day STEWART: I'm glad you liked it and the joke is pretty good to :-).