Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: Birth Control, Stealing and a Burial Plot.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: What do solicitors use for Birth Control?.
A: Their obnoxious personalities!.

Q: Why does the government jail people for Stealing?.
A: To eliminate the competition!.

For a number of years George and Grace Greens marriage has been on the rocks, when George realises its Graces birthday tomorrow so he wanders down to the Contention Cemetary to buy her a Burial Plot.

Next day George hands Grace all the paperwork for the Burial Plot and wishes her a happy birthday. After reading the paperwork through, Grace throws it back in Georges face and storms off in a huff.

Twelve months down the track Graces birthday rolls around again with no present in sight from George.
How come ya didn't buy me a birthday present this year?, asks Grace.
Because you didn't use last years present i got ya!, replies George.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.


cloudia charters said...

yes! well chosen!

Have a GREAT Week

Aloha from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >

FruitCake said...

You did it. Now have sore throat from groaning. First prize to the well plotted birthday present story.

magsx2 said...

Hi Windsmoke,
Oh these were great. I really loved the jokes about the Government, oh yes and so true. Lol

Jayne said...

Love the birthday pressie :)

Kath Lockett said...

I can never remember ANY jokes.

Except this one:

What do you call a camel with three humps?


River said...

@Kath; the camel with NO humps is Humphrey, (humpfree).

I think George is a bit thick...

Lynn Proctor said...

haha i loved these--my pastor and his wife, do a mean george and gracie routine :)

Izzy Mason said...

Love the government one. Good choices!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day CLOUDIA: Jolly good to hear from ya :-).

G' Day FRUIT: "Well Plotted" that's a pun if ever i've seen one :-).

G' Day MAGS: Certainly is true :-).

G' Day JAYNE: Glad you liked that one :-).

G' Day KATH: See Rivers comment :-).

G' Day RIVER: George certainly is and maybe a bit grumpy to :-).

G' Day LYNN: I'm chuffed you liked 'em all :-).

G' Day IZZY: The government one is so true :-).

Beach Bum said...

Q: What do solicitors use for Birth Control?.
A: Their obnoxious personalities!.


That is so true, in fact that's way solicitors have to marry each other.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day BEACH: I'll agree with that :-).

DWei said...

Owwww.... Yes, that's certainly going to improve your marriage. :P

Terra Shield said...

Totally agree with the govt vs stealing joke... in could pass off for a universal truth :)

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Well how dreadfully 'ungracious' of Grace haha!

Ygraine said...

They're all really funny, but 'stealing' I can truly identify with!!!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day DWEI & GRACE: Its really sad don't ya think? :-).

G' Day TERRA & YGRAINE: I reckon a lot of people would agree :-).