Tuesday, February 12, 2013

A Bonza Jest: Eyeball The Conclusion.

Wandering across the overgrown weed infested paddock is Barnaby Bones whose carrying a fishing rod in one hand and a wicker basket stocked with odds and ends in the other. Barnaby plonks himself next to Captain Percy who asks, who would ye be me lad?.
I'm known as Barnaby Bones, but you can call me Barny.
Barny is it, well Barny me lad how many fish have ye caught on this fine afternoon?.
None, Are ye a fair dinkum pirate?.
That i am, Captain Percy Pirate at ye service.
How did ye lose ye leg?.
I was standing on the bridge of me ship during a mighty storm when a monsterous wave washed me overboard and straight into the jaws of a white pointer shark who chomped me leg clean off.

Crikey!, How did ye lose ye hand?.
Many moons ago i was in a wild brawl on the deck of me ship trying to repel boarders when one of 'em sliced off me hand with a cutlass. I tried to find me hand but couldn't, so me quack had this fine looking hook made.

Silence ensued for what seemed an eternity until finally Barny asks, How did ye lose ye Eyeball?.
One morning it was my turn to stand watch in the crows nest, when i gazed up at the cloudless blue sky a pesky seagull flew over and dropped a sloppy white poo in me Eyeball.

How did that cause ye to lose ye Eyeball?.
When i went to wipe away the sloppy white poo i used my hand with the hook which i'd forgot about because i'd only gotten the hook the night before and accidently gouged out me Eyeball which sailed through the air, toward the deck below, then bounced off the deck like a rubber tennis ball and over the ships railing.

Just as me Eyeball was about to make a splash down another pesky seagull swoops out of the sky and catches me Eyeball in its beak, but just before the pesky seagull could fly away a white pointer shark leaps out of the water grabs 'em both and takes 'em down to Davey Jones locker. Stunned by what he just heard Barny gathers up his fishing gear and strides across the overgrown weed infested paddock hoping to be home in time for tea.

(c) 2013 Windsmoke.  

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