Friday, February 15, 2013

A Bonza Jest: Suntanned.

After showering and drying himself with a large fluffy towel Josh Juniper admires his Suntanned and athletic body in a free standing full length mirror. Josh is a health and vegan freak, he lifts weights and jogs ten clicks everyday along the pristine Contention Seaside. Much to his disappointment is the fact that his willy is the only part of his body not Suntanned. After pondering how to remedy this problem Josh comes up with the perfect solution.

The next day he jogs along the beach and finds a suitable spot and starts digging a hole in the sand with his bare hands, removes his clothes chucks 'em in the hole, then lays down in his birthday suit in the hole buries himself up to his neck leaving his head poking out which he covers with a wide brim straw hat and falls asleep with his willy exposed to the blazing midday sun hoping it will be Suntanned when he wakes up.

Strolling along the beach in their full length bathing costumes are Grandma Gwen and her best cobber Grandma Grace when they come across Josh buried in the sand.
Stunned Grandma Gwen points her finger at Joshs willy poking out of the sand and says, do ya see what i see, i reckon there really is no justice in the world.
I see what ya see, but what's ya point?, asks Grandma Grace.

When i was 20 ...... I was facinated by it.
When i was 30 ...... I relished it.
When i was 40 ...... I begged for it.
When i was 50 ...... I forked out heaps of money to have it.
When i was 60 ...... I craved for it.
When i was 70 ...... I lost interest.
Now that i am 80 the damn things are growing wild and i'm too old to get down and pleasure myself.
I know exactly how ya feel.
A few hours later Josh wakes up in pain, removes his hat to discover his willy is red raw and blistered, gets dressed and limps painfully home.

(c) 2013 Windsmoke.    

3 comments:

River said...

My jaw just about dropped to the floor when I read what Josh was doing in the blazing sun. I knew that would end badly.
Had to laugh at the grandmas though.

The Elephant's Child said...

Ouch. Poor silly Josh - says the woman who badly sun-burnt her boobs many years ago.
Grandmother's rock.

Red Nomad OZ said...

Hahaha! It was always going to end in tears all round ...