Saturday, June 16, 2012

Witty Answering Machine Messages.

Twinkle, twinkle little star.
Betcha can't guess where we are?.

G' Day! Ruby's toaster speaking, her brand spanking new answering machine has cracked a wobbly and is in the repair shop. Please leave a message when the toast is done!.

No!, no!, not that, anything but that
not the beep, no!, please i beg you
not the beep, anything but the beep

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.


Tempo said...

As always some great jokes, I like the toaster one..pity I dont have an answering machine

River said...

There doesn't seem to be many answering machines around any more. All calls go to voicemail, or get placed in a queue where we listen to what seems like hours of crappy music because we don't dare hang up and start over in case we never get through. (not me though, I hang up and send an email)

FruitCake said...

I like the toaster idea!

Jayne said...

LOL I like the last one ;)

Joanne said...

For years, until it was accidently removed, a friend had her four year old, enuciating beautifully, say This is the housekeeper. No one is home. It was so well done you had to love it.

Beach Bum said...

I did one of those funny answering machine messages once where I acted like my wife was coming at me with a knife.

My mom-in-law heard it and had a fit. We left the house for dinner barely ten minutes after I set it up and when we returned there were at least twenty messages from her asking what happened.

Yes, my in-laws have NO sense of humor.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Haha suddenly I feel like the message on my answering machine is too dull Windsmoke, I'll have to have a think about it hahaha!

Annmarie Pipa said...

how about "joes Pizza."?!

Anonymous said...

Hi Windsmoke,
You have done it again, fantastic jokes. Lol

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day TEMPO & FRUIT: That's the most popular one so far :-).

G' Day RIVER: I still have an answering machine so i can filter out nuisance calls :-).

G' Day JAYNE: That's running a close second by a length :-).

G' Day JOANNE: That would have been really cute to hear :-).

G' Day BEACH: That would have been really scary and at the same time funny :-).

G' Day GRACE: You could use one of these :-).

G' Day ANNMARIE: That one could work :-).

G' Day MAGS: I'm glad you liked 'em :-).

River said...

I always wanted to have mine say "House of Pies, any size", or "you talk, I'll listen".
but I kept putting off changing the original pre-recorded message.

Ygraine said...

Love the toaster one.
It's brilliant:)

Crack You Whip said...

Toaster one is great! Actually, they all are.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day RIVER: How about "City Morgue Here" that'll raise a few eyebrows :-).

G' Day YGRAINE: The toaster one is a clear winner this time round :-).

G' Day CRACK: Welcome to Bizarre Scribble and hope to hear from you in the future and the toaster one is a clear winner this time round :-).

Lynn Proctor said...

as kids we always pranked called and said we were "amanda's meat market" and we were calling to check on their delivery order--"did you order a crab a lobster and a fish stick--we for some reason thought it was hilarious---hey new follower!

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day LYNN: Welcome to Bizarre Scribble and thank you for signing up to follow. I'll be signing up to follow your blog to :-).

LifeRamblings said...

i'll join the chorus. i love the toaster too.

Windsmoke. said...

G' Day LIFE RAMBLINGS: The toaster one is a clear winner this time round :-).