Fair Dinkum Haiku 046: Beams.

Beams in the window.
Tiny slivers to the sky.
Stairway to darkness.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.
*Join me every Wednesday and Saturday for Fair Dinkum Haiku, see ya then*.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups, Today I'm Featuring: A Salesperson, A Knock, Knock and Boots.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: What's A Salesperson doing when they move their lips?.
A: Telling a porky!.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?.
Bone.
Bone who?.
Bone upon a time!.

A lad stood on the burning deck.
His feet were covered in big blisters.
For he had no Boots of his own.
So he had to wear his sister's.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 045: Tornado.

Surging cool water.
Glides beneath warmer water.
Spawning Tornado.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.
*Join me every Wednesday and Saturday for Fair Dinkum Haiku, see ya then*.

Garry & Julia's Big Day Out Pt 2: Thunder Box.

Slowly driving through the crossroad of life in the deserted town of Contention, Julia spots a giant colourful road sign encouraging visitors to spend the night at the Contention Caravan Park which has all modern facilities and is 10 Kms down the newly re-surfaced road.
How about we stay overnight at the caravan park then continue on our way in the morning, says Julia.
Bonza idea we both need a meal and a hot shower, i know i do, replies Garry.

Branching off the main road and onto the caravan park's driveway, surmounting several zebra speed humps along the way, they finally arrive at the main reception area, pull into the carpark, decamp from their 4wd, enter the spacious reception area where they are greeted by the elderly owners Ollie and Olive.

What can we do for you young love birds on this fine day?, asks Ollie.
We'd like a cabin for the night with a hot shower and a home cooked meal if possible, first of all point me in the direction of your Thunder Box, asks Julia.
Ollie points his finger at the back door and says, go through the back door out into the overgrown backyard and you'll spot the Thunder Box at the end of the gravel path.

Julia walks through the back door, spots the gravel path leading up to a decrepit Thunder Box which looks like it came out of noah's ark standing smack bang in the middle of the overgrown backyard. Julia makes her way down there but in a matter of a few minutes she's back and says, i can't use that the flies are thick as thieves in there i couldn't even open the door.

Glancing at the wooden wall clock Ollie says, in about five minutes i'll be ringing the dinner bell and then all the flies will gather in the dining room then it should be safe for you to go, Garry and Julia look at each other with disgust and flee for their lives, jump into their 4wd and take off burning rubber out of the carpark back down the driveway at such a great rate of knots that they become airbourne over every zebra speed hump then turn on to the main road and speed off directly into the dazzling hazy sunset.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 044: Voices.

Deranged demon speaks.
In psycho nightmare Voices.
In my garbled skull.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.
*Join me every Wednesday and Saturday for Fair Dinkum Haiku, see ya then*.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups, Today I'm Featuring: A Boxer, Scent And Ears.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Burt Blonde says, Did ya know my younger brother Ben is a professional Boxer?.
No i didn't which division does he compete in, heavyweight?. asks Rusty Redhead.
No featherweight, he tickles his opponents into submission, replies Burt Blonde.

Q: What happened to the skunk who sat on a fan?.
A: He got cut off without a Scent!.

Q: How much does a pirate fork out to have his Ears pierced?.
A: A buckaneer!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 043: Cavern.

Oval shape Cavern.
Vaulted antechamber of gushing water.
Damp stalactite covered ceiling.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

A Fake And A Fraud.

A spanish bloke received a photo of his lovely wife with her wrists and ankles tied to a steel framed plastic chair with a text message on his mobile phone demanding one hundred thousand dollars ransom for her safe return and a warning not to involve the police in anyway otherwise his lovely wife would be terminated and her corpse buried in a shallow grave off the beaten track.

A few hours past by after he contacted the police when a police patrol car spotted the kidnap victums white BMW convertible with red leather bucket seats and trim being driven in the opposite direction by a sheila. Making a u-turn and giving chase the police patrol car followed her into the extremely expensive but popular shopping mall carpark in the tourist town of Gandia on the spanish mediterrean coast.


When the white BMW convertible finally came to standstill the police pounced only to discover the sheila sitting behind the steering wheel was none other than the kidnap victim herself and promptly arrested her for faking her own kidnapping and taken to the police station for questioning. At first the sheila told police she had been released by her kidnappers that morning. Under intense pressure the sheila confessed the kidnapping was A Fake And A Fraud conjured up by her because she wanted to know what her husband would be willing to sacrifice for her and their marriage after 30 years.

Another dumb crime that actually happen, all the people and places are real. Bad luck played a roll, because the wife got caught and confessed to faking her own kidnapping when she could have kept quiet and would have got away with it and no-one would have been the wiser. Instead she has to pay a servere penalty for her dumb crime all in the name of love or was there something more sinister at play here. Would you go to this extreme?.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.
**Join me tomorrow for another Fair Dinkum Haiku, see ya then**.