A Bonza Jest: Desert Island.

Sam Sailor, Daisy Dog and Serena Sheep are stranded on a small Desert Island with no food, water or shelter and not much else really. Months come and go quickly with no chance of being rescued at all by passing ships or boats. One night when all is quite and everyone is asleep Sam Sailor tip toes over to Serena Sheep flips her over onto her back drops his daks, flops out his old fella, when suddenly Daisy Dog wakes up, starts growling, barking and snarling at the same time circling Sam Sailor and Serena Sheep frightening Sam Sailor away.

At dawn the next day all three go for a walk along the beach looking for rescue ships or boats but to no avail. From out of nowhere Sam Sailor hears screaming and splashing, gazes around, spots a Sheila drowning a few metres off shore he charges down the beach into the calm waters recsues the Drowning Sheila, brings her back up onto the beach.

Sam Sailor gently drops the Drowning Sheila onto the sand, then realises she is very attractive with a hour glass figure, long dark curly hair and wearing a skimpy black bikini. Drowning Sheila says, you saved my life how can i ever repay ya?.

Sam Sailor recalls last nights incident when Daisy Dog interrupted him from having nookie with Serena Sheep and says, There's one thing you can do for me. What's that name it, Drowning Sheila replies.
Take that blasted Daisy Dog for a long walk so i can have my way with Serena Sheep.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 019: Toilet.

Distinctive red stripe.
Venomous red back spider.
Under Toilet seat.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome To Random Humour For Grown Ups Today I'm Featuring, Rain, Dough And Salad Sandwiches.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?.
Willis.
Willis who?.
Willis Rain ever stop!.

Q: What do you call a person that's crazy about money?.
A: A Dough nut!.

After making a slight miscalculation on a customers monthly invoice, Agnes the accountant is being reprimanded sternly in front of her work colleagues by supervisior Sam who says, If you had two Salad Sandwiches and i asked for one, How many would you have left?.
Red-faced and furious Agnes screams, If it was you who asked i'd still have two salad sandwiches left ya bozo!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Funky Anagrams.

What's an Anagram, it's a word or phrase which the letters are rearranged to form another word or phrase.

Rearrange "SLOT MACHINES" you get "CASH LOST IN ME".

Rearrange "ELECTION RESULT" you get "LIES, LETS RECOUNT".

Rearrange "ASTRONOMER" you get "MOON STARER".

Rearrange "A DECIMAL POINT" you get "I'M A DOT IN PLACE".

Rearrange "THE EARTHQUAKE" you get "THAT QUEER SHAKE".

Rearrange "SNOOZE ALARM" you get "ALAS NO MORE Z'S".

This final Anagram is a classic and my favourite because it's for all you married men out there who have the mother in law from hell because when you Rearrange "MOTHER IN LAW" you get, wait for it "WOMAN HITLER".

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 018: Eruptions.

Super Eruptions.
Appear throughout the milky way.
Create fierce black holes.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome To Random Humour For Grown Ups, Today I'm Featuring, A Stomach, A Shower and Love.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Peter Patient asks Doctor Derek, Is it ok to surf the internet on an empty Stomach?.
Doctor Derek replies, No, you should surf the internet on a computer!.

Q: Which animal do you look like when you hop under the Shower?.
A: A little bear!.

On a dark and stormy night.
I Love myself.
I think i'm gorgeous.
I sit in the cinema.
And hold my hand.
I put my arm around my waist.
And when i get sassy.
I whack myself!.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

A Bonza Jest: Squeaky Voice.

Gary Golfer is telling a yarn to a bunch of people and says, I'm having a terrible day on the golf course when out of the blue just as i'm about to tee off again i hear this Squeaky Voice say, use your three wood, gazing around i couldn't see anyone near by, again i hear the same Squeaky Voice say, use your three wood.

Peering into my tee box i discovered a tiny frog had camped out there telling me to use my three wood. Crazy as it may sound i did and to my surprise smashed that little white golf ball a good two hundred yards or more. At the next hole the tiny frog said to use a five iron i listened and ended up with my very first hole in one ever and made birdie on the rest of the holes it was the best game of golf ever thanks to the little frog.

In the evening i popped my little frog into the pocket of my shirt, wandered next door to the casino to play roulette my little frog told me in that Squeaky Voice which numbers to place my betting chips on and i won each and every time and made a small fortune. After a few hours had elapsed i was becoming tired so i called it a night wandered back to my hotel room placed my little frog in the tee box sitting on the wooden bedside chest of draws when suddenly the little frog says, in that Squeaky Voice "Kiss Me".

Gobsmacked i refused at first but thought what've i got to lose and planted a sloppy one on the little frog before my very eyes he turned into this gorgeous, well developed, underage, fifteen year old girl. That's the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god your honour and members of the jury as to why a gorgeous, well developed, underage, fifteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.

Fair Dinkum Haiku 017: Blisters.

Timber deck alight.
Boy stood crying in bare feet.
Hot painful Blisters.

(c) 2011 Windsmoke.