A Bonza Jest: Hen Pecked.

Over the course of a week the entire population of Mother Earth kicks the bucket from a volitant contagion and everybody ends up in heaven. A few hours later a Devine Being turns up perched on a cloud, decamps and says, would all the men form two lines. One line will be for the men who dominated their wives or girlfriends. The second line is for the other men who were Hen Pecked by their wives or girlfriends, also all the wives and girlfriends are to leave with St Peter right away.

After all the wives and girlfriends have disappeared with St Peter the Devine Being ogles the two lines of men and notices the line where the men who were Hen Pecked stretches as far as the eye can see. On the second line are the men who dominated their wives or girlfriends and only one man is standing in that line and he is Burt Blonde.

Shaking his head in disgust the Devine Being says, stone the crows, all you men should be ashamed of yourselves for being Hen Pecked by your wives or girlfriends. Cast your peepers on the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud and learn from him.

The Devine Being strides over to Burt Blonde and asks, tell me your name my son?.
Its Burt Blonde, replies Burt.
Tell me Burt, how come you are the only man standing in this line?.
Before my wife left with St Peter she said i was to stand in this line or else!.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.   

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: Humpless, Jogging and A Chinese Restaurant.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: What do ya call a humpless camel?.
A: Humphrey!.

Q: What is the definition of macho?.
A: Jogging home after a vasectomy!.

Q: What would ya call A Chinese Restaurant at Ayers rock?.
A: Ayers wok!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Fun Ditties.

Mary had a little lamb
she kept it in the closet
everytime she took it out
there was a tiny deposit!.

Sail a small boat
down the meandering river
fish in the teeming rain
cherish the green grass
worship the waters
that offer their purity.

Polly put the kettle on
it fitted her to a tea
then she mumbled to herself
how am i gunna pee!.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

True Blue Haiku: Toilet.

Like a Toilet door
My heart is scribbled over
with foul grafitti.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown Ups. Today I'm Featuring: Dinner, Drumsticks and Too Far To Walk.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: What type of food is Daisy Dogs favourite?.
A: Everything on your Dinner plate!.

Q: What do ya get when ya cross a chicken with a centipede?.
A: Enough chicken Drumsticks to feed a small army!.

Driving along a wide dusty track deep in the Aussie Outback are Burt Blonde and Rusty Redhead when all of a sudden their ute conks out.

How far do ya reckon it is to the next town?, asks Rusty.
About 100 clicks give or take a coupla clicks, replies Burt.
Crikey!, that is much Too Far To Walk.
What do you suggest we do then?.
I know we can each walk 50 clicks then it won't seem so far!.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Perched On The Dunny Pondering.

Every now and then in our life we've all been Perched On The Dunny Pondering. For that reason here are a handfull of odds and ends to ponder over.

Would a fly be called walk if it had no wings?.

Is there any such thing as mouse flavoured cat food?.

We all know Superman can stop a bullet, so why does he duck when a bad guy throws the gun at him?.

What is the speed of dark?.

I hope to live forever, so far, so good!.

When you decamp from the dunny with your replies please don't forget to flush and wash ya hands!.

Until next time jolly pondering.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

True Blue Haiku: Wine.

Dark musty cellar
Ancient bottles of red Wine
Kip on robust racks.

(c) 2012 Windsmoke.

Random Humour For Grown Ups.

Welcome to Random Humour For Grown ups. Today I'm Featuring: Idiots, Ginormous and Legless.

So wrap ya laughing gear around this lot and enjoy the ride.

Q: Why do men act like Idiots?.
A: Who says they're acting!.

Q: Which breed of bird delivers Ginormous babies?.
A: Frankenstork!.

While on my morning walk the other day i came upon our local bottle shop. Stuck to the window was a advertising poster for Victoria Bitter Beer and Carlton Draught Beer which reads:
Take away
6 pack $12.50
Slab $41.00
(Full members only)?.
The last bracketed line reads like you have to be Legless to make a purchase. What do ya reckon?.

Until next time keep smiling it costs nothing.
(c) 2012 Windsmoke.